Really? Is it hard?

NOTE: This is an archive post from LiveJournal which has been logged here for posterity.

I've been spending some time on nzdating.com over the holidays and it amazes me the behaviour of men.

I mean, why do they send me pictures of their penis?

I liken it to meeting someone in a bar. Noone walks up to a girl in a bar, flops out their piece and says "hey babe, you want to suck on this? Come out to Manukau and we'll get in on in the back of my car" and yet the online equivelent of this (sending a pic and a message) seems to be entirely appropriate.

I'm not that difficult to get into bed, I'm really not. The hardest bit is getting me to actually meet a guy. Once I'm meeting him all he has to do is carry a conversation and flirt. It might take a few dates, but it'll happen.

To be honest my profile says I'm bored and I'll chat "even if it's about your penis" but that is a JOKE. If guys actually want to talk about it, I always ask what they call it and then steer the conversation to something else, it's not an invitation to send me lurid pics. I understand the confusion but it happens to girls who don't have that on their profile.

Fucking for the Sake of Fucking

Is it right? I wish I knew.

Lately I've become so BLOODY sick and tired of being a virgin with no experience apart from a peck on the lips which I'd sooner rather forget.

So is it OK, right, or the right choice for me to just find a guy, get it over and done with then go on to find another?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, pondering it in my own way, talking to friends who's opinions I value, and they've come up with different responses. One says she'll kick my ass if I do, another says to do it, if I want to, and don't if I don't, keep it simple and stop making life so damned complicated.

He has a point.

But as I was taking out the second conversation a song came on the radio, a song that seems to sum up my life and has been one of my all time favourites for about 2 years now. 'Glory Box' by Portishead (lyrics here)

I don't know, I leave it up to you