Why Didn't They Teach Me English Like This??

This is played pretty much every week on Sundays on Channel Z on Bomber's Show and I finally got around to transcribing it.

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Let us talk about the word fuck.
Of all the words that begin with F, Fuck is the only word described as 'the F Word'.
As with most words in the English language, fuck is derived from the German word 'Flecan' which means 'to strike'

In English, Fuck falls into many grammatical categories:-

As a trans ital verb for instance: "John fucked Shirley."
As an intransitive verb: "Shirley Fucks."

It's meaning is not only sexual.

It can be used as an adjective: "John's doing all the fucking work."
As part as an adverb: "Shirley talks to fucking much."
As an adverb enhancing an adjudicative "Shirley is fucking beautiful."
As a noun: "I don't give a fuck."
As part of a word: "Abso-fucking-loutely" or "in-fucking-credible."
And, as almost every word in a sentence: "fuck the fucking fuckers."

As you must realise, there aren't too many words with the versatility of the word fuck. As in these examples describing situations such as:-
Fraud: "I got fucked at the used car lot."
Dismay: "Oh fuck it."
Trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now."
Aggression: "Don't fuck with me, buddy."
Difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question."
Inquiry: "Who the fuck was that?"
Dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here."
Incompetence: "he's a fuckoff."
Dismissal: "Why don't you go outside, and play hide and go fuck yourself?"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi purpose applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word? We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly, fuck you!

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hehe :)