Big Day Out. Great stuff, let me tell you that right now. Where else could you be at the front for one of the best New Zealand bands (Betchadupa), then an hour later see one of the hottest new acts from the UK (Coldplay) from the same vantage point? Where else can you see two great stage shows (Rammstein and Limp Bizkit) within two hours? And where else will someone piss on your leg in the mosh pit?!?!
I'm sorry, but even a mosh pit has etiquette, and the guys behind me were oblivious to this fact.
However nasty that experience was, the concert went off, before Limp started I realised that I had got myself well and truly stuck, and knowing that the only way out (apart from up and over) would only come once they had started, I waited, and waited, and when I thought hope was near, the audience were shouting out "Limp Bizkit! Limp Bizkit!" Rammstein had stopped, and then... Rammstein started up again! ARG! When Rammstein was finally finished (it seems like an eternity when your arms can't move, your legs are tangled around each other and you keep stepping on peoples feet, while trying not to fall over) Fred Durst walked out saying "Ladies and Gentlemen!", and the audience were screaming out "introducing...." I got my opportunity to swim (literally) my way out of the mosh pit, to get an even better vantage point, which involved more air, less sweat and better sound.
It took me exactly one song to get out, and then I started to actually enjoy the concert.
Limp definitely hyped up the audience, played the hits (I was convinced they wouldn't play Faith, and very happy when they did) and did a good job getting the squashed people out of the audience (much better then what I heard Blink182 did anyway).
But as for the earlier part of the day, I did the markets, the food, the Boiler Room, the rides... and drank plenty of water!!
All in all it cost me much less then I had expected and I had a great time.
Saturday, January 20, 2001
Thursday, January 18, 2001
cya
I'm off in about 30 minutes, as much as I hate Auckland, I like the bands I get to see tommorrow, so just for those who are interested, I'll be the big girl walking (or stumbling) around in a purple top with a peirced chin :-)
cya then :-)
cya then :-)
Wednesday, January 17, 2001
BDO is a-coming
Well on Thursday I'm making the trip to the land of the big-huge-phallic-symbol to stay until Sunday so on Friday I may get bruised, burnt, crushed, sweaty and dirty.
Sounds like fun huh?
But on Saturday I get to stay very still and not move... mostly because I won't be able to but still....
And at the moment I can't say the words "Limp Bizkit" without jumping up and down and squealing like a little girl who just got a Furby for her birthday...
w00p!!
Sounds like fun huh?
But on Saturday I get to stay very still and not move... mostly because I won't be able to but still....
And at the moment I can't say the words "Limp Bizkit" without jumping up and down and squealing like a little girl who just got a Furby for her birthday...
w00p!!
Tuesday, January 9, 2001
A Mission of Superhero Standards
Part 1: Before the Carnage
Intoxico was picked up by her superhero friend XXX-Girl, in the yellow Pornmobile, and was promptly whisked away to H-Town. There was a crisis, Dr Evil was turning 21 and needed help getting over the shock.
So armed with their superhero weapons of alcohol, cigarettes, spots, bad jokes, children’s songs, two decks of cards and amyl they set off to Dr Evil’s lair.
Upon arrival in H-Town, they were thwarted by the evil Pak n’ Save, who refused the card that all XXX superhero’s carry – Amex. But the cheque account saved a messy scene, and the plebs kept their lives … for now.
Proceeded then the superhero’s to Dr Evil’s lair, taking extreme caution (ie: the scenic route) to ensure that no one followed them to the hideout. Upon arrival, they were accosted by two stoned cleaning ladies, one of whom was Dr Evil trying out a new disguise, and the other his heroic sidekick, Sexy Sheryl FemBot.
After a small disaster retrieving the weaponry from the Pornmobile (the bag broke!), XXX-Girl showed off her culinary skills in the hellpit of food preparation, the end result being very spicy chicken, and a divine salad – food for the gods (and superheroes) indeed!
XXX-Girl and Intoxico undertook to explain the story of Dr Evil’s life through visual aids. Photos of him as a small (naked) child; an older brat; and finally his formative years as he became what he is today, were brought forth from their resting places and cellotaped to the walls.
After practising with their weapons to ensure they were finely honed for the battle that evening (and testing again, just to make sure!), the Huanator returned from his top-secret mission (work – superheroes pay rent too, you know). It was now Sexy Sheryl FemBots turn to leave the lair and undertake a personal task -–feeding the kids.
Their new mission, that our four heroes (XXX Girl, Intoxico, Dr Evil and the Huanator) were to undertake, was to confront Pizza the Hutt in a head to head battle to the death. After XXX-Girl’s small skirmish with the nuts, the heroes triumphed, leaving behind the carnage of pizza leavings, pasta sauce, and liquid fudge.
Our intrepid team split into pairs, with Dr Evil and Intoxico on a mission for large chunks of frozen H2O, while the Huanator and XXX-Girl took the Pornmobile in search of a non-recyclable flash-picture recording device. Having retrieved these last two items, our superheroes were ready for the long night ahead.
Stay tuned for the next episode of this heroic adventure …
Part 2: The Carnage
Other superheroes began to trickle into Dr Evil’s lair, as the cards were being prepared for a to-the-death battle of Hockey. Drinks were poured, cigarettes lit, with jokes being withheld until the appropriate moment.
The ferocious battle began! Alcohol levels (in the bottles) dropped, while they rose in the bloodstream of our heroes. Ashtrays filled, the sounds of BINGO, The BumbleBee Song, Ten in the Bed, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Alphabet Song, Ten Guitars, Old MacDonald, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and of course, Happy Birthday filled the air.
Laughter filled the room as jokes – baaaaaad jokes – were shared, and as our heroes embarrassed themselves answering the Truth rather than taking the Dare.
The battle died down to a dull roar, and Dr Evil was presented with flowing Champagne as his sister, XXX-Girl, made the speech. Reference was made to the photographs, embarrassing moments in Dr Evil’s life, and sex sex sex! He was then presented with The Key To The City (which all superheroes receive upon turning 21), and it was passed around the room to be autographed.
Finally, Dr Evil could respond to XXX-Girl, and the crowd.
He was pissed (off his nut), but nonetheless presented an eloquent face and non-slurry words as he replied. “You are all my prisoners! You will not be released until you give me as my gift … ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!” Everyone laughed at this, and told him to get fucked, at which point he sat down and continued to scull champagne.
There was cake then.
Superheroes came and went, and cigarette supplies were getting dangerously low. XXX-Girl and Intoxico undertook to replenish the stocks. After dosing up on amyl, they made the brief walk to Beyond Petroleum, where they encountered the sadistic PoxyMoron. Despite presenting her Amex, which no superheroes receive before the age of 20, PoxyMoron took delight in thwarting their ambitions, and they were forced to return to the lair to retrieve XXX-Girl’s superhero identification card.
Upon return to Beyond Petroleum, PoxyMoron became immediately defensive, as he was not expecting anyone to stand up to his nastiness (it being he suffered from Delusions of Grandeur). Having given proof of identification, and an icy manner to PoxyMoron, XXX-Girl was allowed to use her Amex card and replenished the cigarette supply. After safely stashing the cigarettes in Intoxico’s SuperYellowSatchel™, our intrepid heroes forced PoxyMoron to reveal his identity (he was not wearing the regulation name badge!!). After protests from the sadistic shitbag, he reluctantly gave his name, and the name of his overlord.
XXX-Girl and Intoxico left satisfied, knowing that they had paid PoxyMoron back for temporarily damping the buzz and endangering the success of their mission, as he would spend the rest of the shift fretting about what plans the superheroes had in store for him (Mwah-hah-hah-hah!).
Intoxico and XXX-Girl returned to the lair to discover that few of the superheroes remained (but lots of alcohol). XXX-Girl tried a spot and the buzz was instantly restored, while Intoxico merely lived up to her name.
Upon finding an empty bottle (an easy task), the Huanator proposed a new challenge – Truth or Dare. The challenge was taken up with enthusiasm, but soon an impostor entered their midst. His name was Doris the Drug-Dealing Dyke, and his catchphrase was “Show us yer tits”. He bragged about his conquests, and the superheroes began to realise that he should not have stumbled onto Dr Evil’s lair at all – he was a phony!
Evasive action was taken immediately – the Huanator and Dr Evil retired to the bedroom in an attempt to scare away Doris the DDD. XXX-Girl, Intoxico, the Lovely Leah, Gorgeous Gerald, and Big Gay Chris continued to play, ALWAYS choosing Truth, for fear that the dare would be “Show us yer tits!”
Finally realising that Doris the DDD was settling in, they took a more effective approach, deciding that even superheroes need sleep. They told Doris the DDD that he needed to go home now. Once he was out the door, the super-bitching session began, with our story’s heroes demonstrating their dislike by creating Doris the DDD dolls and impaling them with their swords, all the while creating curses and life-altering effects, to ensure that Doris would never return to the lair again.
And then they went to sleep.
Stay tuned for the final episode of this heroic adventure …
Part 3: After the Carnage
One of the advantages of having super powers is that it’s a breeze to clean up after a party. Liberal application of a broom to the floor, magic cleansing liquid to the shotglasses, and very cold waters to the hangovers, meant that by 9am the lair was returned to normal, and our superheroes began to perk up.
Neurofen and Amyl are an essential part of any superheroes kit, and our four protagonists were no exception, with both being required along with cold caffienated drinks. Unfortunately, the caffienated drinks were not a cold as hoped, as the refrigerator seemed unable to cope with the Huanator’s immense strength, and had unexpectedly died. A fridge corpse is not a pretty thing.
And is at this point we must leave our superheroes, to allow them to return to their day-to-day identities. Do YOU know who they are?
Intoxico was picked up by her superhero friend XXX-Girl, in the yellow Pornmobile, and was promptly whisked away to H-Town. There was a crisis, Dr Evil was turning 21 and needed help getting over the shock.
So armed with their superhero weapons of alcohol, cigarettes, spots, bad jokes, children’s songs, two decks of cards and amyl they set off to Dr Evil’s lair.
Upon arrival in H-Town, they were thwarted by the evil Pak n’ Save, who refused the card that all XXX superhero’s carry – Amex. But the cheque account saved a messy scene, and the plebs kept their lives … for now.
Proceeded then the superhero’s to Dr Evil’s lair, taking extreme caution (ie: the scenic route) to ensure that no one followed them to the hideout. Upon arrival, they were accosted by two stoned cleaning ladies, one of whom was Dr Evil trying out a new disguise, and the other his heroic sidekick, Sexy Sheryl FemBot.
After a small disaster retrieving the weaponry from the Pornmobile (the bag broke!), XXX-Girl showed off her culinary skills in the hellpit of food preparation, the end result being very spicy chicken, and a divine salad – food for the gods (and superheroes) indeed!
XXX-Girl and Intoxico undertook to explain the story of Dr Evil’s life through visual aids. Photos of him as a small (naked) child; an older brat; and finally his formative years as he became what he is today, were brought forth from their resting places and cellotaped to the walls.
After practising with their weapons to ensure they were finely honed for the battle that evening (and testing again, just to make sure!), the Huanator returned from his top-secret mission (work – superheroes pay rent too, you know). It was now Sexy Sheryl FemBots turn to leave the lair and undertake a personal task -–feeding the kids.
Their new mission, that our four heroes (XXX Girl, Intoxico, Dr Evil and the Huanator) were to undertake, was to confront Pizza the Hutt in a head to head battle to the death. After XXX-Girl’s small skirmish with the nuts, the heroes triumphed, leaving behind the carnage of pizza leavings, pasta sauce, and liquid fudge.
Our intrepid team split into pairs, with Dr Evil and Intoxico on a mission for large chunks of frozen H2O, while the Huanator and XXX-Girl took the Pornmobile in search of a non-recyclable flash-picture recording device. Having retrieved these last two items, our superheroes were ready for the long night ahead.
Stay tuned for the next episode of this heroic adventure …
Part 2: The Carnage
Other superheroes began to trickle into Dr Evil’s lair, as the cards were being prepared for a to-the-death battle of Hockey. Drinks were poured, cigarettes lit, with jokes being withheld until the appropriate moment.
The ferocious battle began! Alcohol levels (in the bottles) dropped, while they rose in the bloodstream of our heroes. Ashtrays filled, the sounds of BINGO, The BumbleBee Song, Ten in the Bed, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Alphabet Song, Ten Guitars, Old MacDonald, Mary Had a Little Lamb, and of course, Happy Birthday filled the air.
Laughter filled the room as jokes – baaaaaad jokes – were shared, and as our heroes embarrassed themselves answering the Truth rather than taking the Dare.
The battle died down to a dull roar, and Dr Evil was presented with flowing Champagne as his sister, XXX-Girl, made the speech. Reference was made to the photographs, embarrassing moments in Dr Evil’s life, and sex sex sex! He was then presented with The Key To The City (which all superheroes receive upon turning 21), and it was passed around the room to be autographed.
Finally, Dr Evil could respond to XXX-Girl, and the crowd.
He was pissed (off his nut), but nonetheless presented an eloquent face and non-slurry words as he replied. “You are all my prisoners! You will not be released until you give me as my gift … ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!” Everyone laughed at this, and told him to get fucked, at which point he sat down and continued to scull champagne.
There was cake then.
Superheroes came and went, and cigarette supplies were getting dangerously low. XXX-Girl and Intoxico undertook to replenish the stocks. After dosing up on amyl, they made the brief walk to Beyond Petroleum, where they encountered the sadistic PoxyMoron. Despite presenting her Amex, which no superheroes receive before the age of 20, PoxyMoron took delight in thwarting their ambitions, and they were forced to return to the lair to retrieve XXX-Girl’s superhero identification card.
Upon return to Beyond Petroleum, PoxyMoron became immediately defensive, as he was not expecting anyone to stand up to his nastiness (it being he suffered from Delusions of Grandeur). Having given proof of identification, and an icy manner to PoxyMoron, XXX-Girl was allowed to use her Amex card and replenished the cigarette supply. After safely stashing the cigarettes in Intoxico’s SuperYellowSatchel™, our intrepid heroes forced PoxyMoron to reveal his identity (he was not wearing the regulation name badge!!). After protests from the sadistic shitbag, he reluctantly gave his name, and the name of his overlord.
XXX-Girl and Intoxico left satisfied, knowing that they had paid PoxyMoron back for temporarily damping the buzz and endangering the success of their mission, as he would spend the rest of the shift fretting about what plans the superheroes had in store for him (Mwah-hah-hah-hah!).
Intoxico and XXX-Girl returned to the lair to discover that few of the superheroes remained (but lots of alcohol). XXX-Girl tried a spot and the buzz was instantly restored, while Intoxico merely lived up to her name.
Upon finding an empty bottle (an easy task), the Huanator proposed a new challenge – Truth or Dare. The challenge was taken up with enthusiasm, but soon an impostor entered their midst. His name was Doris the Drug-Dealing Dyke, and his catchphrase was “Show us yer tits”. He bragged about his conquests, and the superheroes began to realise that he should not have stumbled onto Dr Evil’s lair at all – he was a phony!
Evasive action was taken immediately – the Huanator and Dr Evil retired to the bedroom in an attempt to scare away Doris the DDD. XXX-Girl, Intoxico, the Lovely Leah, Gorgeous Gerald, and Big Gay Chris continued to play, ALWAYS choosing Truth, for fear that the dare would be “Show us yer tits!”
Finally realising that Doris the DDD was settling in, they took a more effective approach, deciding that even superheroes need sleep. They told Doris the DDD that he needed to go home now. Once he was out the door, the super-bitching session began, with our story’s heroes demonstrating their dislike by creating Doris the DDD dolls and impaling them with their swords, all the while creating curses and life-altering effects, to ensure that Doris would never return to the lair again.
And then they went to sleep.
Stay tuned for the final episode of this heroic adventure …
Part 3: After the Carnage
One of the advantages of having super powers is that it’s a breeze to clean up after a party. Liberal application of a broom to the floor, magic cleansing liquid to the shotglasses, and very cold waters to the hangovers, meant that by 9am the lair was returned to normal, and our superheroes began to perk up.
Neurofen and Amyl are an essential part of any superheroes kit, and our four protagonists were no exception, with both being required along with cold caffienated drinks. Unfortunately, the caffienated drinks were not a cold as hoped, as the refrigerator seemed unable to cope with the Huanator’s immense strength, and had unexpectedly died. A fridge corpse is not a pretty thing.
And is at this point we must leave our superheroes, to allow them to return to their day-to-day identities. Do YOU know who they are?
Wednesday, January 3, 2001
So Many Bands, So Little Time!!
The Big Day Out, I'm currently training my bladder so I can drink copious amounts of water with out the normal trips to the bathroom. I'm also wondering how on earth I'm going to see everyone I want to, and keep myself from going insane traipsing from stage to stage almost non stop to fit it all in.
Yes, I took a look at the timetable.
How am I going to fit it all in? I have a huge list of bands in front of me, and as far as I can tell I'm spending my entire day going between the blue and orange stages, which I'm assuming, judging by their acts and the timetable, they will be fairly close together.
But as any concert-goer knows, to have the best time, you must be very close to the front, and to get there, you must be there early. So how on earth am I going to see (in order, morning to night): Foamy Ed, Goodshirt, D4, Fur Patrol, Betchadupa, 28 Days, Powderfinger, Coldplay, Tadpole, Zed, PJ Harvey, Placebo, Rammstein and Limp Bizkit?? And on top of all that I DEFINITELY want to experience the Boiler Room and of course, maybe a trip to the porta loos (allow 30 minutes) and food (allow 1 hour).
ARG! It's going to be hell, but I'm determined that it will be a hugely enjoyable time... even if I'm not 100% sure on how I'll get there!!
Yes, I took a look at the timetable.
How am I going to fit it all in? I have a huge list of bands in front of me, and as far as I can tell I'm spending my entire day going between the blue and orange stages, which I'm assuming, judging by their acts and the timetable, they will be fairly close together.
But as any concert-goer knows, to have the best time, you must be very close to the front, and to get there, you must be there early. So how on earth am I going to see (in order, morning to night): Foamy Ed, Goodshirt, D4, Fur Patrol, Betchadupa, 28 Days, Powderfinger, Coldplay, Tadpole, Zed, PJ Harvey, Placebo, Rammstein and Limp Bizkit?? And on top of all that I DEFINITELY want to experience the Boiler Room and of course, maybe a trip to the porta loos (allow 30 minutes) and food (allow 1 hour).
ARG! It's going to be hell, but I'm determined that it will be a hugely enjoyable time... even if I'm not 100% sure on how I'll get there!!
Tuesday, January 2, 2001
My Choices Are Half Chance, So Are Everybody Elses
THINGS I HAVE LEARNT IN 2000
- Just because you invite 100 people, doesn't mean 100 will actually turn up.
- Putting anything in your ear, smaller then your elbow can result in much pain and an expensive trip to the doctors.
- Money is evil.
- You miss your mother the most when you have to do your own laundry.
- Phone calls become expensive, but if you write a letter, the person you wrote to will ring the day you send it and you'll tell them everything anyway.
- Cell Phone + Water Bomb/Toilet = Disaster.
- Always wear sunscreen, no matter how small the area is, a small area with 2nd degree burns, in a mosh pit, hurts ALOT!
- Generally, if you don't do something for six months (eg playing the drums), when you come to do it again you will SUCK!
- Always use water when cooking 2 Minute Noodles.
- Tomato Sauce will improve the flavour of any meal served at a hostel, but only if you like the taste of tomato sauce.
- A Bechemel Sauce contains milk, flour, butter, an onion and a clove.
- New Years is much more enjoyable when you get New Years kisses (yes, I got new years kisses!!) :-)
- Gas flames can set your tea towel on fire.
- Many things will kill you, the point of life is to live, and not to worry about how/when you will die.
- Hostel seats are a great source of money after the rugby or the Simpsons.
- There is nothing funnier then watching 'staunch' guys crying over a rugby result.
- David Tua needs longer arms.
- Only Australians would put the Olympic Opening Ceremony on my 18th Birthday.
- It is possible to go 2 weeks without doing laundry before I run out of clothes.
- Receptionists know EVERYTHING, they are the be all and end all.
- Keep in touch with your parents.
- Catching up with people you haven't seen in a long time can be either painfully annoying and you realise WHY you haven't been in touch in a year, or you swear you'll keep in touch, even though you know you probably won't.
- Fantisising about killing your noisy teenybopper neighbour is nice, but calling night security means you get sleep.
- Reading instructions often saves frustration (except in the case of sewing patterns, which are written in another language entirely).
- When in doubt, have another beer.
- When in bed, stay there.
- Drinking Games + Scrumpy's = One of my most embarrassing moments.
- Being drunk when your 18 isn't as fun as being drunk before that.
- Anything can be purchased at the $2 Shop.
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