Lie Down Relax Put Your Feet Up

Just saw an absolutely BRILLIANT concert! Fur Patrol and Betchadupa.

It all began when I picked up a friend of a friend from the bus station, after a few awkward conversations, a few hours, and a few sore feet, we discovered in fact, we knew each other... from addict, turns out he's a reader.... how weird.

As my friend and I sat in the City Focus waiting for (yet another) friend to arrive, we got presented with 2 free tickets to Betchadupa/Fur Patrol. As he couldn't go, he gave the ticket to me, which I proceeded to try give to a friend... ANY friend, unfortunately none of them were too keen, so after rushing home from town, getting ready in the space of about 15 minutes (and I'm a chick... congratulate me!) and waiting for my ride, I got picked up, zoomed into town where we FINALLY got a home for the ticket.

So after much mucking around (ticket said doors open at 7, Fur Patrol's bassist said 9) we arrived at 9, ID'ed and let in.

Betchadupa Rock.

They are a talented group of guys, who can pull off a concert (which to me is very important), in fact, in my opinion they were better in concert then on recording!!

Fur Patrol, also, Rock

Julia (Deans, lead singer) belted out the tunes, very well and everyone (and I mean everyone, you could hear them above the guitars and singing and drums) sung along to Lydia (I'm still gutted they didn't sing 'Chlamydia', the version they sung in Wellington) and we got our encore, which went off, for me, in the front row, moshing next to the bassist and lead singer's girlfriend from Betchadupa, and generally having a great time.

Before I left I said hi to Betchadupa, well done and that I was sorry Rotorua is such a shithole and had never heard of them (the sign out front proclaimed to the world that Fur Patrol and 'Betchadupu' were playing), and also managed to score Fur Patrol's set list...

ah what a wonderful night... and all for free.

On TV...

Gone With The Wind, it's a movie known for the infamous line "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" and it's REALLY long.

Maybe I'm just a fan of 'happily ever after' movies, but is it just me, or does it's ending suck pure monkeys bottoms?

Today was the first ever time I've seen this movie, I saw it was on, thought 'oh, I haven't seen that' and sat down for what I thought was going to be 2 1/2 hours... until I read the TV guide properly and realised it was, in fact 4 1/2 hours (including ads), so I taped it, and finished watching it just now.

It had, in my opinion a very bad ending, it's like the writer just thought "well, this has gone on long enough, I'll just finish it here" and did, and left me hanging. I wanted to see Scarlet with Rhett, I wanted the happily ever after, and I got disappointed. Was it the point of the movie, to disappoint everyone who bothered to sit down and actually watch it? or was it to make us think? I don't know, but I definitely missed my happily ever after!

Speaking of Happily Ever After, is it just me, or is that Mini-series on TV3, 10th Kingdom, REALLY good? I love it, it's so fantasy with great make up, and effects, and clever thinking on behalf of the writers, it had me and a friend desperately rushing through copies of Rapunzel and Little Red Riding Hood today trying to work out names, and where they were, how to break spells and generally just reliving our childhood, we have our theory on the general theme of the whole thing, but it certainly is good from where I'm standing.

Well, that plus Ed O'Neil is brilliant as a Troll King! (oh, and while I'm here, does anyone know who/what/where the Huntsman is from?)

I must admit, the Christmas season TV is good, I've probably watched way too much of it, and the chances of me giving up my videos before the New Year are slim, I have become a TV Nazi for the week, and I'm damn proud of it!! :-)

Water Keeps falling on my head, and shirt, and shorts, and face, and toes....

WARNING: Diary-like content below!

Just came back from Camp BOB (otherwise known as Blob at Ohope Beach), it's a yearly camp held by my former youthgroup every year, and it's always a blast, this was my fourth one.

Friday night was entertaining, with rain POURING from the sky, and with the power pole across the road threatening to blow up every minute or so. The night was spent up, looking for reception for my phone, which was rather hard to come by, and then up until 4am having girly chats and farting competitions in our cabin (immature, but funny) then finding out a guy had crept into our cabin, hidden himself under a bunk in the room behind ours and had heard the entire thing.

Saturday was ALOT of cooking (cos I was the camp cook), a few doughys and cruising thru Whakatane looking for Chicks for a couple of my male mates. Oh and did I mention the water balloon war which quickly escalated into a Ice-Cream container war, to a full on battle with 10 litre buckets!! There was a midnight swim, a midnight walk, and plenty of junk food as well.

and Sunday was basically one great big LONG water fight, which my cell phone is still recovering from (for a few minutes there I was pretty worried that it may not pull through, but having seen, or rather heard of as many toilet-drops as I have - about 5 - and having a 100% recovery rate... I was glad it came back to life)

Then, getting home and seeing one of my closest friends, who I haven't seen since May, was brilliant, I've spent the last 4 hours with her, and I'll probably be spending all of tomorrow with her as well.. it's great!

So overall the weekend has been brilliant.

And for those interested, I'm getting on much better at home lately, since my last post my mother and I have both been making considerations in each others direction (particularly on my behalf, you're all right, I did need to pick up my attitude a bit, no matter how much I hate to admit that). I've also found out other things had contributed to the situation, and understanding it makes it a lot easier to deal with it...

oh, and I got a Job on Thursday as well :-)

I just want something I can never have

Have you ever moved out of home, then gone back and been driven up the walls. I find it hard to believe that having moved out of home, I'll ever be able to move back for any long duration of time, I've only been back in Rotorua for five days, and already being home has driven me crazy.

and it probably didn't help that my alcoholic brother stole half a bottle of vodka off one of my mates last night and got fucked on it last night.

I almost feel like shit at home has changed, I have friends afraid to talk to my parents for fear of getting their heads bitten off, and to be honest in so many words I feel the same way.

So today I just packed a bag and took off. Walked from my house into town and got a ride in about half way. Now I'm staying at friend's flats, and I plan to be doing this on and off thruout the holidays, because being home, as I predicted a few days ago, is driving me insane.

So why is it, once you move out of home, you can't handle going back? Is it the fact that you're used to living under your own rules, having whoever over, whenever, to do whatever, without the worries of beginning to distrust family members, without the parental rules. The freedom comes with a price, that society calls rent, but my God, is it worth it.

Yo sound the bell school's in sucker

But if my mother tells me to get a job one more time before Monday I'm seriously going to go mad. I'm not even supposed to be back before then, I didn't come home early to get more money, I came home early for two reasons: Save money on rent, and enjoy a few days with my friends, after that, THEN I'll worry about a job.

I've already been to WINZ, Student Job Search and done quite a lot of shit today, all I want is a holiday before standing on my feet for upwards of 6 hours a day sweating and not getting paid enough to do so.

But that's my complaints for the day, being home's been a bit of a disappointment though, I haven't seen as many people for half as often as I'd like to, but after tom morrow most of their exams are over, and those who don't have exams tomorrow are coming to see me in town.

I'll be, Home Again

This'll officially be my last update for this year from Wellington, as I'm packing up my computer tonight and going home on Tuesday *yay*

I may miss Rotorua now, but I guarantee I'll be there a week and dying for my freedom and the 24 hour store!!

But on Monday I'll get to see two people I've been missing dearly... my Mother and my Best Friend, Charis (yes! I finally mentioned her... she's been wanting me to for a LONG time now) so to all the Rotoruians and the Aucklander who has decided to drive down and visit (you know who you are) I'll BE HOME SOON!

Ho ho ho and a bottle of Rum

Saw the Santa Parade today, over a month in advance, and just gave me more reasons to hate Christmas.

Well, the floats were ho-hum, there was not a Macintosh in sight and Santa was SO LAME it was past lame, past funny, it was annoying. He had a monotone voice that constantly was saying "hello? hello? ho..... ho.... ho.... hello?" in fact, I'd have to say, the most lively part of the whole thing was... wait for it... the More FM float, the ZM float and the McDonalds float (which really are three things I despise) More FM had their survivors on board, who I recognised from that TV doco which I ended up watching accidentally, the ZM one had Lions (the rugby team) on board and the McDonald's one had a very lively Ronald McDonald getting the little kiddies going.

I saw the stars from The Tribe, but didn't even recognise them until I got handed a "the Tribe fan club" card thing. If it was on TV2 or 3 I'd watch it, but something has to be PRETTY darn special to get me to watch it on TV4 since most of it's infomercials and cheesy American teenage sitcoms.

The two friends and I I'd gone with were most disappointed to get no Macintosh's, in fact, the lollipop one of them got got ripped out of her hand by the man who also got a Santa Hat from the ZM float! It didn't help that I didn't hear "Merry Christmas" once. What is a Santa Parade without Macintosh's and the Christmas Spirit? I went expecting a better parade then Rotorua, and came out with a much longer, worse one. One of my friends commented even the ones in Blenheim are better.

So 3 most disappointed Massey students trail into Te Papa to find a toilet, and travel to the 4th floor to find on that ISN'T packed, and then to New World, and try to get out of there quick as 'cos it's packed too.... darn it.

But today has given me a passion to boycott Christmas one year, not buy or receive any presents, not get up at 6.30, not go back to sleep a richer person an hour later, not to wake up just before the peanut butter sandwich dinner and not think about the Boxing Day sales... well maybe all but the last part. Am I the only person who actually, really loathes Christmas? I'm not sure what's happened.. I used to love it, but these days I can think of many more exiting days of the year, the only great thing about Christmas is the atmosphere of summer, holidays, and shopping. Bugger all this present crap, bugger the hours in the kitchen preparing a huge roast for a summers day, bugger breaking toys an hour after you get them, I just want to go back to sleep and eat my peanut butter sandwich in peace.

But as it stands, this year I want my Big Day Out ticket :-P

'cos I've seen better days

Well, I just got back from watching Mary Staple playing at Indigo and I'd just like to say that those boys have a lot of potential. I never watch concerts as a concert-goer per se but as a musician, and they had good dynamics and a good stage presence, although the sound could definitely have been better.

I've been incredibly tired all day, and the small amount of alcohol I had tonight has made me about ready to fall asleep on top of my keyboard, which would actually make my column look pretty fucked up...

On the situation below, I think I'll stick at it, there's not much to lose in my opinion, and definitely more to gain, this I'm sure my mother'll be happy about.

There has been a lack

Some people may have noticed lately there has been a lack of my depressing views on life that I have been known to post. So here's something to satisfy that need.

In the last 8 months, while I've been away from home, I have changed, I was chatting to my mother today about it, it seems I have lost a lot of myself over the time I've been in Wellington. I am seriously considering not finishing my course next year, other options seem more appealing, and people who knew me before I moved will know I rarely give up.

I didn't give up drums, I spent a year (yes, a whole 12 months) trying to get the drum beat to ONE SONG right, since I had started drumming I couldn't do double kicks, where the right hand and my foot work at different times, and it was crucial for the drum beat. I practised in classes, in exams, in the car, in bed, but I couldn't get it. I would sit in class and instead of writing notes, I would write drum notation and follow it to try get it right. I still remember the day in Food Tech where I got it. I almost ran around the room screaming "I can do it! I can FINALLY do it!".

I didn't give up trying to do my best in sixth form, I hated it, really hated school, 'cos being big I tended to get mocked, the teachers, on the most part were good, but the rules, regulations and the hideous uniform were bad (as I'm sure Deeps could probably agree) and I hung around with the geeks, which in hindsight was a good thing, but at the time I wasn't to comfortable admitting it. All thru sixth form I had my eyes on the goal of the course I'm doing now, to be a chef, to cook for people, and to live in Wellington. I did that, and I remember telling everyone that went through my till at Big Fresh, the day I got accepted that I'd got into Massey, Wellington.

I had a goal to have the best darn going away party in a long time. I organised a venue, 100 personalised, DIFFERENT invitations, a DJ, booze, bouncers... with the help of a friend, and it was the last piss up before school went back, and everyone loved it, except for the people whose stuff got nicked.

I wanted a boyfriend, and although I never got one in Rotorua, it never phased me, I could live without one.

In February, my goal was to come out top of the class, unfortunately, my self confidence level dropped, the time it took me to tire myself out decreased, and I began to dislike my lecturers, I became disillusioned, and I didn't want to do it, and I still don't know if I do.

I was not a quitter, and I'm becoming more determined not to be as I write this. I've had massive money problems this year, spending my rent on other things, spiraling into huge debt, but I'm now willing to see that it's been a mistake, and I'm willing to take responsibility for it, my first step into that was actually telling my parents about it.

Talking helps, writing helps, and publishing my feelings, and getting feedback from people I hardly know makes things seem more important in so many ways, I want to know what you people think, how you would react if you were placed in a new town, with no friends, placed into a course and becoming disillusioned with it, and most of all, loosing a valuable part of yourself in the process.

I leave it up to you

I will NEVER.....

...get sick of watching goths bowling

NEVER

I know it's been around for a while but this ad deserves an award.... and it's even better on the big screen :-)

If it's not what you're thinking, then you can go to hell

I think I had one of my most embarrassing moments as a chef today.

We have a four course meal to cook for our final assessment. Today was the practice run, I was in a kitchen I'd never used before and was having a joke with a few of the guys in there, and didn't notice the fact that the gas flame was up further then I thought.

As part of a chef's uniform we have these STYLIE pants (small check pants, in a similar style to 'MC Hammer Pants'), the chef's jacket, chef's hat, chef's scarf, an apron and a tea towel (to help with picking up pots and stuff).

So I'm having a great old time talking, until I realise... my tea towel has caught on fire...

So having put it out, made some damage to my ego and put a scorch mark on my apron... I had to buy new tea towels today.

The only word for this is bugger.

Smoking IS cool... and you know it!

I got a new modem!!!

WOOOO

*greeny puts the old 14.4 on the ground and jumps around on it for a bit*

Thanks Rivertrog for it :-)

It's much better, and faster, and prettier (cos the old one was internal, this one's external) than the other one...

Well, I can't really say much without sounding very Dear Diary, so I won't, but at the moment I should be studying, just I can't be bothered... I have my first exam tomorrow, and I can just think of about a zillion things I'd rather be doing then studying..

*greeny considers plucking her eyebrows....*

Please Sir, May I have some more?

It seems ludicrous, to me anyway, that there are three charities having their annual appeal this week. The Blind Foundation, CanTeen, and Keep Kids Safe, all this week.

While sitting down to my cheesy talk shows, ads with Pio, for Keep Kids Safe, jumping idiots wearing bright bandannas for CanTeen, and an effective ad using ‘what’s that sound’ for The Blind Foundation were all shown. Now what’s up with this? Don’t they realise that three charities is hard to accommodate?

Now me being poor, when I do give, it’s usually to something I have some sort of connection with. I have a CanTeen bandanna, a bright yellow one, that I wear proudly (or did until someone pointed out to me it was a bit silly wearing a bandanna for a cancer charity when I smoked... how about we just put that down as an investment?) I wear the bandanna because two friends of mine used to have Leukemia and one of them has 2000 of the things to sell.

I’ve also got stickers all through my memories scrapbook from charities I’ve given my spare change to, and a butterfly that I got from another... I’ve had roses, daffodils and poppies, and I hate passing by buskers without giving them something.

It’s almost become like a gang war... You’re walking down the street, wearing your poppy and a daffodil seller comes up to you and you feel you have to get one just so you can walk on both sides of the street without being harassed... “nah man, I’m already a daffodil!”

Giving generously has it’s personal benefits, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s helping a mate in finical troubles out, giving to a busker or one of the appeals people, it makes you feel good, and often the benefits will come back to you ten-fold.

But still... THREE charities goes beyond insane. Can’t there be someone, who co-ordinates these things, there are 365 days in the year, 52 weeks, there’s more then enough to go around, they can have my money, it’s better to give it to them, then to spend it on some of the crap I spend it on myself, and I know it’ll come back to me one day, just when I really need it.

but three charities?

Someone told me to post this

In my bathroom we have put up posters, a few soft toys and plants. On our window sill we have a soft toy Tigger, and a soft toy Pooh (as well as cactus's and plants). The windowsill is located directly above our toilet.

So anyway...

One day this week it was particularly windy, and one of us (most likely me) left the window right open. So the wind was tearing into the bathroom, making a general mess of things. I walked in to find posters on the floor, a soft toy Pooh on the floor and no sign of my soft toy Tigger.

I feared the worst and my it was confirmed.

I looked in the toilet to find, low and behold, my poor Tigger was looking up from the toilet bowl as if to say "help me! help me!"

So I rescued the poor fulla, he's back sitting on the 'sill, I'm wondering whether to soak him in something, unfortunately my student budget is stretched as it is...

He doesn't stink..... yet

I can't really think of a title for this one, so it hasn't got one.

Deb came over again today, was very nice to see her again.

Had a great lunch, which was followed by a movie. We really had no idea what the movie was that we were seeing so once we got in and it started we were in for quite a shock!

First of all we were presented with an usher who wouldn’t shut up, she just kept talking, telling us meaningless ramble, and then talking to the audience right through the previews, I was very tempted to throw M&M’s at her, but had I done that I would have found myself one precious M&M short. I’ve never seen an usher talk so much, and to be honest, I hope I never do again.

The movie we saw was Final Destination it’s from the makers of the X Files and you’d think the website (www.deathiscoming.com) would give us some insight, but no, we went happily trotting along. Personally I was thinking something thriller-esque, but I was presented with a full on horror.

The movie was GREAT!!

It was missing a few things, such as a nice hunky guy sitting next to me so I could use him as an eye shield instead of my hands, but overall, fabulous!

It really was scary, and the best bit was it wasn’t over-rated (such as Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer). It won’t be getting any sequels, and had heaps of hunky stars, even though they all died.

I came out with that great feeling you get from horrors when they’ve been really good, a mix of enthusiasm for the movie and a great rush of adrenalin.

So I’m definitely up for American Psycho tomorrow night :-)

I'm feeling comfortably shagged

The unions came to uni today, I mean, I wouldn’t mind, but they were so HAPPY about it, shoving it down people’s throats... infact one guy actually handed me a sticker and said “wear this, it’ll piss the big guys off”.

If there’s one thing that’s always pissed ME off, it’s beliefs being shoved down my throat. I didn’t become a christian because my mother couldn’t shut up about God at home... no THAT my dears, drove me to satanism, the thing that drew me to becoming a christian was, infact, my hormones, God gave ‘em to me, so why shouldn’t He use ‘em to their best advantage? After much deliberation, and being pulled along by a pushy friend (sorry man) I went to a youth group and low and behold.... GUYS!

But I’m onto another story, so I’ll get back on topic....

There’s a guy who stands on Lambton Quay who walks with passers by, shouting “Jesus will save you from your sins! There is only one God!” into their faces and I honestly want to hurt that guy, not very christian of me I know, but it’s people like that I tell you!!

I, have, although I hate to admit it, been part of these pushy race of idiots, I wasted a whole New Years in fact, preaching to young children at the Mount in a motor camp... is there anyone worse then a preacher preying on your children?

Of course, I was mostly with the older teenage people at the camp, and pretty much refused to preach, I told them about God, yes, when they asked, I told my testimony, yes, when I felt there was a need there. And I was rewarded with my work when one of the guys came into my home church in January, a christian when he’d previously had nothing to do with it.

I’d actually like to see some statistics on pressured Christians vs the ones who made their own decisions... how many still believe in God, still pray and still go to church 2, 5, 10 years down the track?

So why do people still insist on shoving it down your throat?? I admire the choirs and churches in Manners Mall on a Friday witnessing and singing, in fact, I have been tempted to join what my friends and cousins refer to as the ‘crazy Christians’ just cos they’re having so much fun. I certainly don’t mind the guy with a giant board talking to what he refers to “all of you” which is usually just one or two drunks about God. They aren’t in your face and shouting it, if a person feels like they want to listen, they can, but if they don’t want to they can leave.

But Christians aren’t the only people who do this.. Jehovah Witnesses come to mind (sorry if any of you are part of this group). Late last year I was staying at my best mate’s house with him while his parents were away. Since the room I was in was closest to the door I answered it, to find two Jehovah Witnesses there. I dutifully took their magazines (which came in handy when a certain addict reader got trashed and puked all over them) and was nice to them, but they came back, about 6-9 times over the Summer looking for me, and asking for me by name!! It wasn’t until I asked a mate from school, who was of that persuasion to get them to stop that they did.

So why oh why oh why, when shoving beliefs down a person’s throat doesn’t work, do people still do it?!?!? This union today, were trying to buy people’s support with dinky highlighter yellow brochures (hint: highlighter yellow doesn’t work as well as canary yellow) and free sausages. They had lots of people near them... but I have a feeling that was due to being at a university and offering free food.

I certainly don’t know why people do it, maybe it’s just human nature.

woe is me... again

Loneliness. It’s enough to make a person’s heart bleed and a soul cry.

Just thinking today, about daylight savings, and how much fun I used to have in the delayed nightfall last summer is enough to make me cry.

Seemingly endless times of driving around town with the KoRn or Limp Bizkit on full volume, sun shining down, consumption of alcohol, parties, laughter, gossip, swimming in the various lakes over summer, picnics bought at Big Fresh with my 5% employee discount containing strawberries, fruit salad, coke, chips and the way they smelt when they had spilt all through a boot of a car and left, by accident there in the sun for 2 days... my first attempt at water
skiing, having the first person ever ask me out, then being hit upon by his drunken friend. Friends being harassed by cops, getting fines, and speeding tickets. Plans made in our chat rooms, the formation of #rotorua coming out of drunken conversations near Christmas, the fall of our previous chat room. The time my friend came to stay and got in much bother and basically set the scene for the entire Summer. Monopoly played in drunken states, swimming in the natural hot pools that only locals knew about and the teenagers used them to their best advantage. The time one of my friends decided to strip and harass us all with his nakedness and then on a trip into town running out of petrol and having to watch him get dressed in the middle of a main road.

None of that waits for me when I head home this summer, none of it.

The people that had cars either don’t have them anymore, or are too buggered up in the head, having been fucked around by chicks. The drinking of alcohol will take place, but with the majority of us being of legal age, it will happen in bars, and we’ll avoid the fun and anxiousness of buying underage, and we’ll no longer have to worry about someone getting too drunk and chundering all over the floor and the correct way to clean it all up. We won’t have to worry about our parents finding out, which in hindsight, was part of the fun. My previous role of gossip master is no longer mine, I used to know everything, who liked who, who fucked who, and where the next party was. Having been away for a year, the group dynamics have changed, and I am only a small part of it. The picnics will still come about, with other peoples discount, but there will be new faces, and some of the smiles wiped off the old ones, with them gone to find new groups.

The natural hot pools are no longer a destination on the list with an outbreak of some disease or another, killing a small child, on the same day we were supposed to go. but didn’t by a close vote. Our hang out spots will have changed, lakes will change to cafes, and most will be working, saving to go to uni next year.

It aches my heart to think that times will never be the same again. That the people who used to be the drunken hooligans, are now the sombre, depressed drunks, and the sober, levelheaded ones, no longer are there.

I’m sure I will come across this problem many times in my life, that the way I remember things will change completely and I will be left to gape at them, with my jaw ajar and with tears in my eyes, but I guess I’ll have to live with it.

No matter how much I hate it.

buh

Does anyone know which order the lemon/ tequila/ salt thing goes in?

something i found today

"Consider the roots of a simple and mundane action, for instance, buying bread for your breakfast. A farmer has grown the grain in a field carved from the wilderness by his ancestors; in the ancient city a miller has ground the flour and a baker prepared the loaf; the vendor has transported it to your house in a cart built by a cartwright and his apprentices. Even the donkey that draws the cart, what stories could she not tell if you could decipher the braying? And then you yourself hand over a coin of copper dug from the very heart of the earth, you who have risen from a bed of dreams and darkness to stand in the light of the vast and terrifying sun. Are there not a thousand strands woven together in this tapestry of a morning meal? How then can you expect the omens of great events should be easy to unravel?"

- A Time of Omens, Katherine Kerr

If you don't like poems, don't read this

The shining sun, full of pride, watching
As a breeze gently strokes my face with it's soft blue hands
The clear blue sky does not let on
It's face of grey, tear-stained and cold
That it revealed before.

Grass plays on the ground with the breeze
And moves out of my way
As I tiptoe across
A gentle giant in a town of little green people.

Into the concrete and glass structure
Towering above me and exerting it's power.
Leaving the joy of the day,
and into impending doom.

Cluttered Kitchens
Grumpy cooks look on with contempt
Chef's moan about the stupidity,
and donn their fake smiles in a place where they do not belong.

frozen greeny popsicles

While having what was supposed to be a long, relaxing shower tonight, with my Portishead CD up really loud I (amazingly) heard my Cell Phone going off, I raced out of the shower, spilling water everywhere, grabbed it, turned down my CD player, to find DebXena on the other end.

This chick is COOL!!

Here I was thinking I was the only yellow nut on the face of the planet, to find, I'm not, the girl even has the car to go with it!!

Met up with some mates on Sunday (while I was with Deb) from Rotorua who I hadn't seen in YONKS, it totally psyched me out and I was on a buzz for pretty much the whole day!!

I've had two absolutely delicious home cooked meals in the last two days, one courtesy Deb's Aunty, and one courtesy my grandmother.

On a note to my last column: I've decided not to go throwing it away, it is better to wait, and I'm glad I put it up to everyone to think about/ comment on before I arguably made one of the worst mistakes of my life.

So I'm a pretty happy girl at the mo :) only thing pulling me down is the impending assessments I have to face tomorrow.... wish me luck!!

Fucking for the Sake of Fucking

Is it right? I wish I knew.

Lately I've become so BLOODY sick and tired of being a virgin with no experience apart from a peck on the lips which I'd sooner rather forget.

So is it OK, right, or the right choice for me to just find a guy, get it over and done with then go on to find another?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, pondering it in my own way, talking to friends who's opinions I value, and they've come up with different responses. One says she'll kick my ass if I do, another says to do it, if I want to, and don't if I don't, keep it simple and stop making life so damned complicated.

He has a point.

But as I was taking out the second conversation a song came on the radio, a song that seems to sum up my life and has been one of my all time favourites for about 2 years now. 'Glory Box' by Portishead (lyrics here)

I don't know, I leave it up to you

Full Monty

Interesting night last night, I was chatting to Rivertrog last night. He had a few mates over and as I was watching the webcam, I was having a bit of fun and stuff, then one announced they were going home and asked for any last requests to which I replied "FULL MONTY"!!!! and well, to my surprise, I got it...

pic here

Fucking Irritating bastards!!

Banks, everyone hates them, they charge you the earth for a service that you need, no choice about the matter. There's not a good one out there, and mine is fucking me around big time.

I'm with National, on a tertiary account, with a $500 overdraft. After my cheques (received for my birthday, one for $200, one for $50, both WestpacTrust) cleared (as I was told by the ATM), I, in my usual style, got to spending them.

I spent some on rent, some on alcohol, some on smokes, some on a book I've wanted for over a month, and some on food. Now my balance says -$447.88, which, technically should leave me with $52.12 available to spend in whichever manner I please (recharge card, phone bill, dinner and more smokes). HOWEVER the banks are fucking me around. Turns out (as far as I can tell) one of the checks (the smaller, if you please) has not cleared. Or something. I can't ask the bank, cos they're closed, I can't ask tomorrow morning, cos I have a test at 9am (when they open) therefore, I have to wait until 3pm tomorrow to find out what the fuck is going on. This bank's treated me well and given me no hassles up to this point, I've tried every ATM in my path, and none will let me withdraw, even though they all gave me the same balance, the only machine that gave me any kind of answer was an ANZ which told me "Transaction declined, Insufficient funds", which... is bullshit. So let me repeat myself by getting on the rooftop and screaming for all to hear:-

FUCKING IRRITATING BASTARDS!!!!

post-birthday ramble

First Alcoholic Beverage Legally Purchased: Rum and Coke
Place Purchased: Massey University Student Bar
First Bottle of Alcoholic Beverage Legally Purchased: Coruba 40oz
Place Purchased: The Mill, Central Wellington
Did I get Id'ed?: Yes, when I went to the Mill, I got in, but it took a bit of convincing, I had to pull out the 18+ papers (which only need JP signing and they're ready to go) as well as my student ID.
First Packet of Cigarettes Legally Purchased: Horizon 20's
Place Purchased: StarMart, Manners Mall
Clubbing?: No
Bar Hopping?: No
Completely Fuck Faced?: No
Happy Anyway?: Yes

Had a really good time today, went to school and enjoyed my class a whole heap, progressed to student bar where I was from 2:30 until 7:30, yes, 5 hours, in the same bar. I got a free Rum and Coke from one of the receptionists from downstairs who happened to be at the bar, and basically just socially drank the whole time with classmates..... boy, can chef's drink, honestly, all of the department practically were there and the tutors were apparently going out someplace as well!!

And amazingly, I still can't get over the fact that whipping out a little piece of plastic means I can buy stuff I've never previously (legally) bought. 18 years of one thing, and suddenly changing to another is something to get used to!!

I got a phone call in the morning from my best friend who promptly sang "happy birthday to you, you smell like a poo, you look like a monkey and you act like one too". Later that night (about 8pm) while on my way to The Mill I got a phone call from another friend who got my entire former youthgroup to sing me happy birthday (the original version) from Rotorua... I feel loved :)

I enjoyed my birthday cake (thanks mum, it was good) and so have all the people I've given bits to. It's rather big, and I don't wanna get any fatter then I already am...

Thanks to Deb for my E Card :) muchly appreciated, sunflowers are my fave :)

Anyway, I've still got a few things to do before bed (I'm tired as, shit all sleep last night and alcohol-induced sleepiness) I guess I should still be out, but you know, shit happens and then you wipe your ass.

Celebrate good times COME ON!

Well, it's 58 minutes until my birthday and I have a few things to rant about:

First of all: apart from this sentence I promise not to mention the Olympics in this column.

Second: If I ever get my hands on the person(s) that decided females shaving legs/underarms/other areas is sexy/good, I will strangle them... I spent 30 minutes shaving tonight.... GRR

Third: my mummy sent me a nice big chocolate cake :) gotta love not living at home, you can open your presents when you get them, my bank's getting filled up with big cheques and my belly will be filled with cake and alcohol tomorrow :)

Fourth: I've decided if any Wellingtonians wanna meet me, I'll be in Cuba mall, by the Peace Tree (outside Fusion) on Sunday at 1pm I'll sit there for 15 minutes, if no-one comes and sees me.... well... I'll feel like a fool. Also check out the forum thread on Wellingtonians all meeting up and stuff ;)

W00T 50 minutes til my birthday!!!!!!!

If you want to go out

Generosity. It's a great part of human nature, and it's the coolest thing when it pops out of nowhere when you least expect it.

I was lying in bed this afternoon, because I had very little sleep last night, and my phone starts ringing. I answer it to find it's a lady who's been staying at the hostel for the last week. I had mentioned at some point my birthday to her, and she had bought me a present.

It's not big, or expensive, but it's certainly beautiful, and it was such a gesture, that of a birthday present from someone I barely know, that makes it one of the best presents I could receive.

It's a coffee mug, gold trim, lots of little bits... It's got an Egyptian picture on the front and the words "Seti Between Horse and Osiris" if anyone can tell me what this means, I'd be very grateful :)

On another completely different note, anyone else heard the new Limp Bizkit song Rollin'? It's on the new CD due out mid-October... I gotta admit, I quite like it, there's heaps of lines from previous songs, and looks like it's more like Significant Other then 3 Dollar Bill, which is good, 'cos IMO, Significant Other is much better then 3 Dollar Bill.

DAYS 'TIL GREENY'S BIRTHDAY

2 Days


Alcohol gladly accepted

Poisoning by Food

Food poisoning. Everyone I know has had it at some point, nobody likes it, every year it causes businesses to close down, and isn't it great when your teacher gets it?

My teacher has food poisoning. It sucks for him, he's a really cool guy, but it's great for us, we only had one class today :)

Speaking of food, the weirdest thing happened today, the food served at the hostel was good!! We had Beef Chow Mien (my favourite Chinese dish, followed closely by vegetable chow mien) and wedges... now I know wedges and chow mien don't really work... but who cares? They were both yummy!!

I've spent most of my free time today revamping some pants for my first night clubbing on Friday, they look really good, dark navy bootlegs transformed into flares with the help of some very bright streaks flowing from my knees. I've also done some homework, slept and even done my laundry... it's been a good day and I've got lots done.... one of these days I'll get around to cleaning my room....

I have a practical assessment tomorrow, a chicken salad and a poached salmon type thing. It should be pretty cruisy all going well. It's worth 40%, should be some easy marks.

Oh, and mum? I passed that chicken I had to resit :)

DAYS 'TIL GREENY'S BIRTHDAY

3 Days


Getting closer!!

we all live IN a yellow submarine

The Treasure Island thing, it's weird, I had to fill in this HUGE form (check it out here) which asked some really bullshit questions.... but they made me think that's for sure, it took me about an hour to fill in. I couldn't think of the scariest thing I'd ever done, I ended up saying moving out of home. But I can touch my toes without bending my knees (just).

I don't think I'll get in, I wouldn't look good on camera, but I guess you have to be in to win right?

I'm planning a movie day tomorrow. I'm spending half my day at the movie theater, I have some money, thanks to my tax return, and golly gosh, I'm going to treat myself, I'm planning to see The Sculls, followed by Scary Movie and finally Hollow Man. I've always wanted to do something completely stupid like that, I think I'll end up getting the story lines all mixed up though...

On another note, for students and poor people out there, there's a cool site out there that actually gives free stuff away (I wanted to try it and get some free stuff before I promoted it) it's at http://www.stuff4free.co.nz and it's damn good, I've got a packet of free corn nuts (taste like shit), free can of top secret (goes well with vodka) and I'm waiting on a free post it notes & holder as well as free sports balm. For those lucky bitches in Auckland you can get a free blank video as well.

and a new feature to my column, that will be running for the next week is "Days until greeny's birthday" this is partially to remind my mother about the big cheque and cake I want, and partially to get all you people to send me cheesy net cards so I feel loved ;P

DAYS 'TIL GREENY'S BIRTHDAY

5 Days


(I'll be 18)

We all live on a yellow submarine

I've applied for the new season of Treasure Island.

Don't ask me why, cos I'm not quite sure

But it's worth a go I guess.

and why has only DebXena Voted for me? :( 'Cmon people, you know you want me ;P

When's it gunna stop? DJ?

I feel complete, I've now seen the Robbie Williams video

I've got a new phone (anyone who's talked to me on my old one will know how good this is)

I've only had 2 cigarettes today

I witnessed a robbery of an alcohol store

AND my grandmother finally knows about my piercing (took her exactly 37 seconds to notice it)

And I found this.....

Dr. Seuss Purity Test

Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?

Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?

Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?

Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?

Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?

Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?

Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?

Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?

Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?

Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?

Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?

Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?

Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?

Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?

Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?

Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?

Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?

Have you done it under clamps?
Have you done it with the lamps?

Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?

Have you done it on Mother's couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?

Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?

Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?

Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?

Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your "no's,"
pray this number never grows;
Fifty questions we asked thee,
score times two is your Purity.

Well, I thought it was funnee.....

Weddings

hmmmmm

got a marriage proposal in my last comment-column type thing

I'm drunk and find it quite flattering.....


mmmmmm alcamohols

I walked under a bus, I got hit by a train

As a citizen of this country, even as a non-licensed member of this country, I find the petrol prices to be heading well out of crazy, and into ludicrous. The latest price rise from Caltex has made me think.

I can see the many implications that the latest petrol rise could have on me, a non-licensed member of society. I can see public transport costs rising, airfares increasing, and a huge guilt at having friends come to see me on holidays, parents picking me up, my mother’s free taxi service and most importantly, the bribes of “petrol money” will have to be bigger then $5 for someone to take me somewhere.

Our country, although I hate to say it, is living in a very consumer-run society. So I propose a plan. A plan that all my readers, fellow columnists and their friends can take part in. It would very much rely on a huge sector of the country taking part, but word of mouth, and the power of the pen (or in my case, the power of the 14.4kbs modem), could bring the plan into reality.

But first, what are the causes of the price rises? Our petrol prices are crashing through the roof, while our country’s dollar, in relation to the rest of the world, is sinking like the Titanic. The petrol company’s are blaming the price rises on both the dollar and the increased cost of petrol per barrel. Is the world’s crude
oil supply running out? Supply and demand often means that rare commodities, such as petrol will become, can be very harsh on the wallet.

So why does no-one create a solar powered vehicle, or even better, a car that runs on water, that can be implemented into society and become an “every household has one” thing? We already know that vehicles that run on these sources, and even electricity exist. Most of Wellington’s central public transport system runs on electricity taken from wires suspended above the roads, and, every now and again a show like Beyond 2000 will run a segment on a solar powered car. But why do they all seem to disappear never to be seen or heard of again? Many people claim that petrol companies are paying the inventors to keep such machines a secret. Maybe there are plans for these new cars to come out into our mainstream markets in the near future and petrol companies are simply trying to milk every last dollar out of their customers while they still can.

Imagine the rush on these cars! They will sell like wildfire, people will spend their life savings and retirement stashes on them. They will be cheaper to run, and be better on the environment.

But back to the plan. Although we can dream of these cars, their implication into every day life would not come for another 5 years at least. Today, we have to concentrate on the vehicles we do have, the ones that run on petrol, that cost the earth to run, keep running, register, park and manage (are you starting to see why I don’t have a licence yet?). I figure, if a major part of society boycotts the next petrol company (or companies) to rise their prices, eventually, they will have to give. As their petrol prices fall, go back to them, and make the others follow suit. Yes, there is a problem that they may all go out of business, but it has become ludicrous, and it is time for serious action.

The Good, The Bad, and The Horribly Disformed

A wise person once pointed out to me a handy fact, a fact that always makes me feel better when things go to shit, and something that has always helped out my friends and talked a few people out of doing something they could regret later, if they got that opportunity, and today, I am going to point this fact out to you, my
loyal readers, who for some reason continue to read my column.

Life is 80% good and 20% shit, but it is human nature to concentrate on the 20%

A good example is how women want larger breasts, then, having taken steps to get what they want, find that their breasts now make their back hurt, they didn’t appreciate it either way. Another is people growing older and getting wrinkles, they don’t seem to concentrate on the fact that at least wrinkles don’t hurt.

Look on the bright side people, there always is one.

Yes, I’m an optimist, I can see the good in all situations and the glass is always half full.

Next time you feel like you’re having a shit day, look for the good bits, which are often overshadowed by the few moments of unhappiness during the day.

Last December I had a friend stay with me, we had a great time, we hooned around Rotorua in various cars, went to a camp and threw various bits of food around (icecream, cheese...), tested a Ginsu Knife (yes they do actually cut thru cans), went shopping, and generally had a good time. But, on the last couple of days she was with us, she made a mistake that she regrets. A month down the line and she was unhappy, we were chatting on IRC and I told her my little fact, and she asked me to prove it, I typed what could be printed out onto 1 1/2 pages of fun, interesting and cool things we did. Then I asked her to tell me all the bad things, and she could only site this one incident.

True story, she reads my column, and is almost guaranteed to comment on it once she reads this.

Try it.

The sun is shining at my door and my smile is here to stay

Recently I’ve been having really bad sleeping problems, causing me to get up at about 5am, which isn’t all bad ‘cos it means I’m going to classes and I’m getting a good breakfast in me. Well, at breakfast this morning I was reading The Dominion, the morning Wellington paper, catching up on current events and I noticed an ad for the IRD about Tax Returns, now you may be wondering why I hadn’t already applied for a tax return, and I’m not quite sure why not, I think I’m just a dumbass.

But I digress.

While reading, I found I was eligible for a return, and so I put down the paper, ran to my room and rang up the IRD. Well I was eligible for 2 returns, but would only get the one that was worth the most. The lady on the other end of the phone checked the first and stated I was eligible for $16 return... which I thought sucked the nuts of a sterile donkey. So she then checked the second, in which I was eligible for $156!!!

I now have a smile painted on my face and I love the IRD.

Of course it all has to go on my debts, but less debts equals a happier greeny :)

Hung as a Dead Horse

So I get this text message at about 6:40pm on Friday night, right? It says something along the lines of "Can I come down?" now, might not seem a silly question if the person sending it to me live withing the Wellington region, or even within the lower half of the North Island, but no, I got a visit from a mate from Rotorua, he just drove down, on the night that petrol rices went up, to see me.

*greeny feels loved*

I spent the better half of Friday night cleaning my room and doing laundry, the better half of early Saturday morning walking all around Wellington and looking for a free car park (which we found in a parking building of all places!!), the second half of the morning sleeping and the entire afternoon doing um, things. Went to Real Groovy, which has been declared one of the best things in Wellington, did the laser sport, got kebabs, spent ages talking, drove to Porirua and got drunk with my rellies, drove back (with the help of a sober driver), and slept..... to be woken up an hour and a half later by snoring....

Maybe I was wrong about wanting a guy.... if you share their bed.... they snore, if you share their room.... they snore...

Snoring's bad.

Karma Police

As some may know, and some may not, at this point in time, I am training to become a chef at Massey University Wellington. This might seem like a good career move, and for a year or so I have thought so too, but recently I have decided otherwise. Over the last 5 to 6 weeks I have been facing some major hurdles in my life. Most of which refer to where my life is heading. To make this story clear I may have to back pedal so the following paragraph gives you history of myself.

Since I was about 8 I have wanted to be a teacher. I have wanted to share and give knowledge to young people and have a lot of holidays ;P. This has been my passion since I was eight. When I was about 15 my mother suggested I might make a good journalist; I was good with English, and have a penchant for finding
out stuff (which I must agree with her on) but soon after trying a 6th form Journalism course decided against this. From there my gaze shifted to becoming a chef, I wanted to own a small cafe in Wellington which I would call The Cursing Granny. For this dream my course is relevant, it teaches Chef skills while teaching the business and service aspect at the same time. However, my heart hasn’t been in it at all. I now regret not doing seventh form and for the last month or so all I’ve wanted is to get out of there and teach.

So, with this in mind, today I went to the Coca Cola Careers Expo with the idea of talking to some people and seeing if this dream is attainable. As it stands, yes, it is within my reach. In fact, my chef’s course, piled with my sixth form results gives me almost certain acceptance. As it stands, teacher’s colleges prefer for a student to have been to a tertiary education and have had successful results prior to teacher training. Which is great news for me. Although I love cooking, and enjoy finding out the tips and tricks of professionals and learning
real stuff about food. I don’t want to be stuck in a kitchen in a silly white suit getting crap hours and lousy pay for the rest of my life. I want something where I can make a difference in a person’s life and be doing something I enjoy. So I am returning to my passion, teaching.

Which is weird, because so many people I know are in my boat, a girl in my class doesn’t like the course and wants to teach music, and my cousin began a few BA papers at Auckland University in education this semester.

The only problem I’ve got now is deciding where to go to learn to teach. Of course, I won’t start my training until after my Diploma has finished, at the end of 2001, but I’m thinking Otago or Canterbury, possibly Palmerston North, but that place, to be honest, is a bit of a hole (yes, I DO know, I was born there) and well, I just don’t like Auckland.

Having said all that I’m sure my friends and my parents are saying “What about Wellington?!?!” I’ve been in love with this city for so long, but now, it doesn’t hold the same spark, I want to see the rest of New Zealand.

Once again a big thank you to all the people who supported me through my last column, it’s really appreciated. That was one of the things I’ve been thinking through recently, at the moment is a huge change of direction for my life, and I want to share it with you all, the good, AND the bad :)

Depression and General Teenage Angst

Well, many people have written deep and meaningful stuff about themselves here, so I figure, while in the mood I'm in I will too.

Note: this column is going to put right some of the biggest lies I've ever told my best friends, please forgive me.

All my life I've never really felt right when it comes to guys. No matter what I did, my weight (which is well above normal) has made me feel like no guy could ever like me.

I'm a virgin, 17, and never been kissed, well there was one time, with a guy I thought I liked, who was 2 years my junior, but it was a peck on the lips, and I don't feel it counts.

No matter how much I tell myself that I'm beautiful, healthy and worthy of a "more then friendship" kind of love, I never quite believe it. The whole idea of a relationship scares me. What do I do? How will it happen?

I've asked guys "out" before, and many times get negative responses, which has never helped my ego. I've had "cyber relationships" with, one guy in particular, that made me feel special, he knew what I looked like, knew who I was, talked to me on the phone and made me feel loved. But nothing physical ever transpired. It was him that gave me my love for Wellington, who inspired me to move here when I finally flew the nest.

I've been asked out once, by a guy who'd previously turned me down twice, and although the idea was appealing, I couldn't bring myself to say yes, I couldn't bring myself to do anything. The question was asked in a drunken slur, and after many hints that the person would "never get laid". I didn't want to be in a relationship where the whole thing was physical, where I wouldn't get the feeling I got from my cyberguy, a feeling of butterflies and feeling giggly.

I've been through the normal "am I gay? am I bi-sexual?" questions, and to be honest, I don't think I am.

But I don't know if a relationship will ever happen either. I know people say "everything in it's own good time" but I can't believe it, I can't believe that the things on TV, the things you see when you're walking down the street, when you see a couple walking hand-in-hand or hugging or kissing, or even fighting, I don't see that happening to me.

So what inspired this tell-all, for my mother and best friends to read? I'm not sure, but maybe now I've told them, I can untangle myself from this web of self-loathing.

Can I Have Some Peanut Butter?

I saw Meet Joe Black, for the first time in my life this morning, and I have come to realise that words cannot describe how brilliant this movie is. Yes, it's a chick flick, but since I only like a few chick flicks it's OK. I can think of 3, they being: Girl Interrupted, Meet Joe Black, and, of course, Pretty Woman, who can forget that gaudy polka-dot dress.... no matter how hard they tried?

On another topic, someone is trying very hard indeedio to destroy the hostel at the moment, I walked downstairs this morning to find: 1) The smokers room closed due to fire damage (the booth had been on fire and the seats are ruined) 2) Someone's dinner all over the floor in front of the elevator 3) A couch literally ripped apart and strewn all over the floor and 4) A table spread-legged on the floor.

The place is a MESS.

And on that note, I'll go.

Bad Day

Yep, I've had a shocker. In chronological order:

I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to go downstairs, get some munchies and watch SKY. When I got my munchies my chips got stuck in vending machine, which sucked. After I got sick of that I went back up to my room to go on the net where the cleaner yelled at me for something I didn't do, then proceeded to make me get off the net so she could use my phone.

I walked from one end of Wellington looking for a book and couldn't find it anywhere... my feet ache, and I have no book, if anyone has A Time of Exile by Katherine Kerr, that they wanna sell for $10, E Mail me

Today is also the open day today therefore there are people walking around everywhere, and I don't know 'em all, and they kinda scare me... :(

So basically, today sucks and I wish it'd end...

dammit!

So I'm in my Practice Assessment right? I'm supposed to be making a 3 course meal of Pumpkin Soup, Warm Salad of Ling, Duchess Potatoes, Char-Grilled Vegetables and Asian Spiced Roast Chicken. Everything is going great until.... I cut a chunk of my finger off.

Only a little chunk, but a chunk all the same, and it HURT (as you could expect it to) and now I have to actually buy plasters and antiseptic cream, luckily, today's pay day, so as well as all that, I had a few hours in the Student Bar :)

TTTTTUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!

Life, (and other things, infact, mostly other things)

I've taken a day off today, as far as I'm concerned a day off would be good for me. On my day off, I got up, still at the normal time, but enjoyed my breakfast instead of shovelling down my throat. Had a relaxing cigarette, instead of a crappily rolled one as I hurry down Cuba St. I walked back to my room, instead of hastily dashing back up because I forgot something. I've even done some homework, which is something I don't do on my official time off. I've found the next book in the series I'm reading, at a good price, the only problem being I have no money, but still, it means I can buy it when I do, I've settled on my cheeses for the cheese board I'm supposed to design after a trip to New World, and I feel more educated after 2 hours of wondering Te Papa, and relaxed after walking in the Wellington wind on the waterfront... and it's only 12:57pm!! What will the rest of the day have in store for me??

On another topic, last night at dinner a few of my friends organised a petition for better food, raising and outlining our concerns, which they have since presented to the cooks, we're also getting a new cook as of Monday, should be interesting, maybe he has a few more ideas then the last one that served Hamburgers, Hotdogs, Mince, Chicken, Macaroni Cheese and Fish Patties in a rotating cycle...

Earthquake

Did anyone else feel it?

It was big and long and made me hide under my desk :(

Imagine this...

I'm sitting at my computer, eating a vegie burger and trying to connect to the internet. I freeze, lurch and hurriedly untangle a small metal rod from my half chewed food. I then realise where the small metal rod is from, and hurriedly get up, and run to the mirror where I put the small metal rod back in it's minute little hole in my chin. I then have to actually clean my living area around my computer to find the metal rod's corresponding metal spike (which is about 4mm long, tops). Failing finding it withing 2 minutes I put on my spare invisi-ball and return to the search. Eventually finding it just where my feet go. I then decide a good clean is in order and I am glad I still have mouthwash to cleanse my mouth, needing a small container I am glad I finished my small tub of marmite today. I clean it, fill it with boiling hot water out of the zip down the hall and run back to my room, I get the newly bought anti-bacterial soap from my bathroom-mate that we bought when out shopping today, place a bit of antibacterial mouthwash and saline solution in the jar. Having done this I place the small metal spike, invisiball and finally the metal rod into the jar and shake it up a bit, I clean the outside of my chin with a cotton bud and saline solution, I then cleanse the inside of my mouth with mouthwash/saline solution (note, no it didn't squirt out the hole, yes I tried) I then carefully remove the rod and amazingly, painlessly place it back in it's hole, I then re screw the little metal spike and clean up after myself in the bathroom.

An amazingly long story (I didn't expect it to go that long), but nonetheless, I'm sure you didn't need to know.

And with a groan we settle down

Was watching TV last night, Havoc and Newsboy to be exact, and you can be sure, that this is not another rant about Newsboy although I did feel incredibly bummed out when during the credits it said "hosted by: Mikey Havoc and Jeremy Wells"... damn!

But I digress, as can be imagined, this show pulled a lot of student interest, and so, watching the show with 20-30 young people, the inevitable tampon ad surfaced.

This was the one for some new Carefree product. It starts with two twins sharing how different they are, one is so much taller, one is older, and they both use different tampons. As soon as the word 'tampon' is mentioned, well the guys groaned in boredom, and the girls groaned in embarrassment.

Isn't this the STUPIDEST thing to advertise, I mean, believe me, girls are going to use these products once a month, with a few exceptions, and it's guaranteed income!! If you want to make lots of money: make tampons, half the population will buy them!!

So why embarrass your customers with some of the STUPIDEST ads out there? I'm reminded of the worst of all "Hi gorgeous, haven't seen you since last month!" I mean, for fucks sakes?!? A talking tampon??!? And who's gunna make a tampon that big anyway, it'd rip the poor girl in half!

Anyway, sorry if I have put someone off their 2 minute noodles, or if I have you cringing in your seat, but it just needed to be said.

How RUDE!!

I know it's cheesy to put a early-90s-sitcom quote as my topic, but it sum's it up quite nicely.

While out today on my "I don't have classes *jump for joy* but I need groceries and the third part of my book series cos I just finished the second although I had to stay up all night to do so" shopping trip I went to Bellamy's Bookshop in Cuba Mall, I wanted the third part, and have found this shop to have a copy or two on previous excursions, in fact, this is where I found the first part, but I digress. Having entered with a pack on my back (as I needed to take in books to exchange to get the one I wanted cheaply and also wanted something to carry my groceries home in), so I followed the signs posted around the place which read "Please leave bags at front counter" and asked the lady behind the counter if I could leave it there, she turned around and said, what I figured out to be (as she had a heavy accent of some European origin) "Put it out the back" now I thought this was odd, so I replied "I'm just going over there" (while pointing about 2 metres away at the Fantasy section) and she said, very angrily and rudely "put it on your back! Can you do that? Put it on your back!" To this I felt like saying "fuck you!" and leaving, but I said, amazingly calmly "OK" looked at the book, decided I wasn't going to spend my money there, even if it was the last copy in Wellington and left.

Facing a dilemma of knowing other second hand bookshops in Cuba Street didn't stock this series, and I really wanted it, I had to use my brain. I knew the only other place that had it was on the other end of Courtenay Place, to which I happily trotted, to find the book $5 cheaper, and with the books I traded I ended up getting it free and $2 cash, the people there treated me nicely, and even though it's out of my way, I will be going there again.

The News or the Weather?

The return of Newsboy on a new TV2 series (minus his counterpart Havoc) on some snow programme, has stirred up something in me.

As a member of our generation, and being female, (straight female to boot) I find this TV host very attractive, as does many of my female friends, much to the disturbance of many of my male counterparts.

So imagine my surprise when I found out a friend of mine actually KNEW him!! Yes, Newsboy has a real name, and I know it!! Although I know I am not by myself in this, I feel like I am part of a special few.

Seeing his face up there on the small screen bought back memories, of racing out of Tuesday night leadership meetings in Rotorua to race home to see his face, with his counterpart, Havoc, making fun of everything and everyone. I also remember his trip to Rotorua and seeing my friends house on screen for 4, precious frames, and of course I remember the excitement and jealousy in the #rotorua channel on Undernet, as the female members watched a very lucky girl get her breasts signed by him on the Big Day Out special.

Yes, Newsboy is a person for many people to admire. The females, because of his delicate facial bone structure and wonderful voice makes us want to do anything he says. Males, because, well, what male wouldn't want chicks throwing their breasts at them for an autograph?

DISCLAIMER: Although I have categorised all females as to wanting Newsboy, this may not be true, some females may be gay.

DISCLAIMER #2: I am not, nor will I ever be homophobic.

DISCLAIMER #3: I just wanted a disclaimer #3.

Antics

Wow, thank you to all the people who have encouraged me recently :) it's really appreciated.

Went to Student Job Search today, I'm serious about getting a job, I've also sent out my CV to a bakery in Thorndon, for a sandwich hand position, which I wouldn't mind. I was rather gutted when I found a position for a Christan Youth Leader paying money for the help, which sucks, cos I did it all last year for free!!

I got too much washing to do, I've completely run out of under ware, not a good thing, luckily I have the money to do it, so I shall later in the morning before my nice late Wednesday start :)

If there's anyone in the Wellington region who's good with computer's that'd be a doll and fix me CD Rom for free will you e mail me my CD Rom's buggered itself, which is a bitch cos my father bought Office for me, and I can't install the damn thing!!

My cousin and I were talking and we have come to the conclusion that a New Years in my grandparent's "town" (it's a very small village type place, but popular for New Years) would be ideal for a bunch of rowdy teenagers. There's camping grounds there, and we could have a tent primarily for tools, buckets, alcamahols and stuff. It's such a small town, and would seem boring if it was your first time there, but to someone who's been there often, it'd be a very good spot.... but then again, I wouldn't mind a 3rd year at the Mount..... bugger it!

When Life Gets You Down

Don't you hate it when you're on a huge high, then your life, for no particular reason, just crashes and you feel like you're being sat upon by an elephant, so squashed, that you simply cant move at all.

That's how I feel at the moment, I feel that every avenue open to me is closed, not even suicide is an option, every time I look at that door I see my mother, my best friends, and I know that people love me.

Being a student I have no financial security, and being a student who in her depression has come to the conclusion that she doesn't like her course, gives an even smaller amount of security.

Having just been home, and come to this realisation, I kick myself that I didn't stay for 7th form, (this is where my Dad and my friends can tell me they told me so). If I had stayed that extra year, even if I had changed schools, which I was planning to do anyway, had I stayed, then it would have opened all the opportunities to me that I now wish were open.

Being depressed often makes you meditate on your past and future, and at the moment, I don't see too much ahead. With a massive student loan, and banks eating every cent that they can get off you, what exactly can a person do? We are trapped in a system that makes us rely on small pieces of plastic and metal to let us live, those small things, are our life line. We are not controlled by our own minds, we are controlled by small inanimate objects.

The moral of the rant? Money sucks, and we all need more of it.

No We Don't Need This Life, Not Anymore

Don't be getting ideas from the topic, just had no topic and Birthday by The Stereobus was on and it's a line from the song.

Just to let y'all know, I'm feeling MUCH better now, I stayed up for ages last night and figured a lot of shit out, I might tell you about it one day, but now's not the right time, let's just say, I got taught a VERY valuable lesson recently :)

By my birthday I should be feeling ecstatic, not only 'cos I'll be 18, but also cos I'll, with any luck, be facing a major release, as I said, details maybe later, for now it's between my closest friends and myself :)

The Cleaner Who Stifled Me

The girl who I share my bathroom with and I recently decided to brighten it up because it looked rather....... white. Having made this decision we quickly put up KoRn posters, newspaper clippings, skatie posters, and old pictures from SC Art boards, as well as some plants and stuffed toys on the window sill.

Friday's cleaning day.

I woke up this mor.... er, rather this afternoon to find a pile of posters on the floor and a note from my roommate saying "I don't think the cleaner liked the posters". So, I went to work, putting them back up and leaving a note simply saying "too bad".

There are three cleaners here, 2 of them I know and talk to, rather regularly, I also talk to the receptionists (who gave us blue-tack for free ;P ). Having talked to a receptionist and a cleaner today I have come to the conclusion that there is no rule saying we can't put posters in there, and I know which cleaner did it.....

Not that I can do much....

But, the silliest thing about the whole ordeal is that the bathroom looked almost exactly the same way it did the previous nigh.... er, morning, when I went to bed. The only difference was new towels and a pile of posters on the floor. The shower was dirty, and so was the sink and mirror.

Ah well, If there's one thing I've learnt from this: I'm not particularly fond of the cleaner who stifled me.

stuph

After a long walk around town I finally found the second book in the series I'm currently reading, it's just as good as the first so far (the first was very good). I was mightily pissed off to find none of the second hand bookshops on Cuba Street had it though, so I had to walk down to the other end of Courtenay Place to finally find it. If it hadn't been there, I would not have been a happy chappy (or lassie, no, that's a dog...)

And a big YAY for Vodafone from me! They've halved their peak-rates until 31 August, I'm on the 89cent flat rate, which means It costs me 44 1/2 cents per minute during peak times YAY

Anyway, best be off, stuph to do of sorts.

thoughts and prayers

Few things make you cherish your life like hearing about the misfortunes in other's lives.

That sounds cold, but it's (in many cases) true.

I just got home to find a close friend's parents have split up, and she's devastated, and another friend has found out a friend's parent's were in America and just died in a car accident.

I don't know how I'd react if that was true in my case. If my parents broke up, I'd be shattered and I know many of my friends, who are close to my parents would be too, the same goes if one of my friend's parents died. I'd be sorry for my friend, and in my way, I'd feel their pain, but I'd also feel my own grief due to the fact I always try to get to know my friends parents.... nothing is worse then when your best friend's parents hate you.

On the same note, when I was in Rotorua I found out one of my close mates from Intermediate parent's had broken up too.

And another close friend from High School's father recently died of cancer.

I'm not sure which is worse, death or splitting up. I remember being about 14 when my parents used to argue in the room beside mine, I remember the pain at the thought they were going to break up, turning up my stereo full blast to drown it out and in the end getting on my bike and riding to a friend's house, 3 kilometers away, to stay the night there, simply to get away from it, and warning my brother on the way (he had been out during most of it and we met up on our bikes, me going out, him coming in) of what was happening and it probably being better to stay away for awhile.

I remember the sadness in my friend's and her mother's eyes when I sat there in their living room crying on their dining room table, telling them what had happened. I remember writing to my cousin saying "I'd be surprised if my parents lasted another 6 months together" and I remember laughing when he reminded me of this a year ago.

I recently saw an article in the NZ Herald about the effect that the parents splitting up had on children, it said that of the children surveyed, almost all of them wanted more input on the terms and conditions put on visitations, and which parent they lived with. This is a younger age bracket then that of my friends, but the principle remains the same: no matter what the situation, the children will ALWAYS become hurt in a death, separation or divorce.

It is this kind of thing that makes me mad when I see people getting married or pregnant to someone they barely know. In marriage, yes, some of these "I've known you 3 minutes let's get married" things work, but as a majority, they don't. For those who are pregnant, in my opinion, it is better to have an abortion then let that soul live a life of pain and suffering. Don't get me wrong, I'm not strictly pro-abortion, there are many bad things that I can see about the issue, but I've always taken comfort in something I remember someone once saying to me "If a young child dies, or is aborted, that soul will grow up in the care of God and when their parents go to join them in heaven, they will be re-united." It may sound soppy and very Christian of me, but what do you think is better? A child growing up, never knowing the feeling of love, and repeating the cycle their parents have started or followed themselves, or growing up with someone who abounds with love, created love, IS love?

Another thing that has always bothered me, that kinda could fit into this rant is how adults, especially in my father's side of the family love to skip telling the children. My grandfather, who although I rarely saw, I dearly loved, suffered from cancer, I, however, was never informed of this by my parents, thank God I am a very nosey little girl and read a letter from my parents to my grandmother that mentioned this issue. From what I could gather through talks with my cousins (who were informed) my grandfather was in remission, and in the end died of a heart attack bought on by his reduced strength. I could be wrong, if I am (and I'm talking to my mother here) mum, email me and tell me the truth, I'm old enough to handle it. At the funeral, we were basically told to sit down and shut up, wouldn't it have made a better funeral, for us anyway, to be able to share our thoughts and experiences? We may have been young but, at 3rd form I did understand what death meant and I needed to grieve as well. At the wake, instead of eating the food the adults got, we were put in a small room with a packet of some of the WORST fish & chips you've ever seen (they honestly looked like they'd been hacked to death) and a TV. Looking back, I'm glad of it, because that side of the family, to me both then and now, never really took to heart that children have hearts and feelings as well.

Well this has been a rather long rant, so I guess I'll get going, nice to get that off my chest though