buh

Does anyone know which order the lemon/ tequila/ salt thing goes in?

something i found today

"Consider the roots of a simple and mundane action, for instance, buying bread for your breakfast. A farmer has grown the grain in a field carved from the wilderness by his ancestors; in the ancient city a miller has ground the flour and a baker prepared the loaf; the vendor has transported it to your house in a cart built by a cartwright and his apprentices. Even the donkey that draws the cart, what stories could she not tell if you could decipher the braying? And then you yourself hand over a coin of copper dug from the very heart of the earth, you who have risen from a bed of dreams and darkness to stand in the light of the vast and terrifying sun. Are there not a thousand strands woven together in this tapestry of a morning meal? How then can you expect the omens of great events should be easy to unravel?"

- A Time of Omens, Katherine Kerr

If you don't like poems, don't read this

The shining sun, full of pride, watching
As a breeze gently strokes my face with it's soft blue hands
The clear blue sky does not let on
It's face of grey, tear-stained and cold
That it revealed before.

Grass plays on the ground with the breeze
And moves out of my way
As I tiptoe across
A gentle giant in a town of little green people.

Into the concrete and glass structure
Towering above me and exerting it's power.
Leaving the joy of the day,
and into impending doom.

Cluttered Kitchens
Grumpy cooks look on with contempt
Chef's moan about the stupidity,
and donn their fake smiles in a place where they do not belong.

frozen greeny popsicles

While having what was supposed to be a long, relaxing shower tonight, with my Portishead CD up really loud I (amazingly) heard my Cell Phone going off, I raced out of the shower, spilling water everywhere, grabbed it, turned down my CD player, to find DebXena on the other end.

This chick is COOL!!

Here I was thinking I was the only yellow nut on the face of the planet, to find, I'm not, the girl even has the car to go with it!!

Met up with some mates on Sunday (while I was with Deb) from Rotorua who I hadn't seen in YONKS, it totally psyched me out and I was on a buzz for pretty much the whole day!!

I've had two absolutely delicious home cooked meals in the last two days, one courtesy Deb's Aunty, and one courtesy my grandmother.

On a note to my last column: I've decided not to go throwing it away, it is better to wait, and I'm glad I put it up to everyone to think about/ comment on before I arguably made one of the worst mistakes of my life.

So I'm a pretty happy girl at the mo :) only thing pulling me down is the impending assessments I have to face tomorrow.... wish me luck!!

Fucking for the Sake of Fucking

Is it right? I wish I knew.

Lately I've become so BLOODY sick and tired of being a virgin with no experience apart from a peck on the lips which I'd sooner rather forget.

So is it OK, right, or the right choice for me to just find a guy, get it over and done with then go on to find another?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, pondering it in my own way, talking to friends who's opinions I value, and they've come up with different responses. One says she'll kick my ass if I do, another says to do it, if I want to, and don't if I don't, keep it simple and stop making life so damned complicated.

He has a point.

But as I was taking out the second conversation a song came on the radio, a song that seems to sum up my life and has been one of my all time favourites for about 2 years now. 'Glory Box' by Portishead (lyrics here)

I don't know, I leave it up to you

Full Monty

Interesting night last night, I was chatting to Rivertrog last night. He had a few mates over and as I was watching the webcam, I was having a bit of fun and stuff, then one announced they were going home and asked for any last requests to which I replied "FULL MONTY"!!!! and well, to my surprise, I got it...

pic here

Fucking Irritating bastards!!

Banks, everyone hates them, they charge you the earth for a service that you need, no choice about the matter. There's not a good one out there, and mine is fucking me around big time.

I'm with National, on a tertiary account, with a $500 overdraft. After my cheques (received for my birthday, one for $200, one for $50, both WestpacTrust) cleared (as I was told by the ATM), I, in my usual style, got to spending them.

I spent some on rent, some on alcohol, some on smokes, some on a book I've wanted for over a month, and some on food. Now my balance says -$447.88, which, technically should leave me with $52.12 available to spend in whichever manner I please (recharge card, phone bill, dinner and more smokes). HOWEVER the banks are fucking me around. Turns out (as far as I can tell) one of the checks (the smaller, if you please) has not cleared. Or something. I can't ask the bank, cos they're closed, I can't ask tomorrow morning, cos I have a test at 9am (when they open) therefore, I have to wait until 3pm tomorrow to find out what the fuck is going on. This bank's treated me well and given me no hassles up to this point, I've tried every ATM in my path, and none will let me withdraw, even though they all gave me the same balance, the only machine that gave me any kind of answer was an ANZ which told me "Transaction declined, Insufficient funds", which... is bullshit. So let me repeat myself by getting on the rooftop and screaming for all to hear:-

FUCKING IRRITATING BASTARDS!!!!

post-birthday ramble

First Alcoholic Beverage Legally Purchased: Rum and Coke
Place Purchased: Massey University Student Bar
First Bottle of Alcoholic Beverage Legally Purchased: Coruba 40oz
Place Purchased: The Mill, Central Wellington
Did I get Id'ed?: Yes, when I went to the Mill, I got in, but it took a bit of convincing, I had to pull out the 18+ papers (which only need JP signing and they're ready to go) as well as my student ID.
First Packet of Cigarettes Legally Purchased: Horizon 20's
Place Purchased: StarMart, Manners Mall
Clubbing?: No
Bar Hopping?: No
Completely Fuck Faced?: No
Happy Anyway?: Yes

Had a really good time today, went to school and enjoyed my class a whole heap, progressed to student bar where I was from 2:30 until 7:30, yes, 5 hours, in the same bar. I got a free Rum and Coke from one of the receptionists from downstairs who happened to be at the bar, and basically just socially drank the whole time with classmates..... boy, can chef's drink, honestly, all of the department practically were there and the tutors were apparently going out someplace as well!!

And amazingly, I still can't get over the fact that whipping out a little piece of plastic means I can buy stuff I've never previously (legally) bought. 18 years of one thing, and suddenly changing to another is something to get used to!!

I got a phone call in the morning from my best friend who promptly sang "happy birthday to you, you smell like a poo, you look like a monkey and you act like one too". Later that night (about 8pm) while on my way to The Mill I got a phone call from another friend who got my entire former youthgroup to sing me happy birthday (the original version) from Rotorua... I feel loved :)

I enjoyed my birthday cake (thanks mum, it was good) and so have all the people I've given bits to. It's rather big, and I don't wanna get any fatter then I already am...

Thanks to Deb for my E Card :) muchly appreciated, sunflowers are my fave :)

Anyway, I've still got a few things to do before bed (I'm tired as, shit all sleep last night and alcohol-induced sleepiness) I guess I should still be out, but you know, shit happens and then you wipe your ass.

Celebrate good times COME ON!

Well, it's 58 minutes until my birthday and I have a few things to rant about:

First of all: apart from this sentence I promise not to mention the Olympics in this column.

Second: If I ever get my hands on the person(s) that decided females shaving legs/underarms/other areas is sexy/good, I will strangle them... I spent 30 minutes shaving tonight.... GRR

Third: my mummy sent me a nice big chocolate cake :) gotta love not living at home, you can open your presents when you get them, my bank's getting filled up with big cheques and my belly will be filled with cake and alcohol tomorrow :)

Fourth: I've decided if any Wellingtonians wanna meet me, I'll be in Cuba mall, by the Peace Tree (outside Fusion) on Sunday at 1pm I'll sit there for 15 minutes, if no-one comes and sees me.... well... I'll feel like a fool. Also check out the forum thread on Wellingtonians all meeting up and stuff ;)

W00T 50 minutes til my birthday!!!!!!!

If you want to go out

Generosity. It's a great part of human nature, and it's the coolest thing when it pops out of nowhere when you least expect it.

I was lying in bed this afternoon, because I had very little sleep last night, and my phone starts ringing. I answer it to find it's a lady who's been staying at the hostel for the last week. I had mentioned at some point my birthday to her, and she had bought me a present.

It's not big, or expensive, but it's certainly beautiful, and it was such a gesture, that of a birthday present from someone I barely know, that makes it one of the best presents I could receive.

It's a coffee mug, gold trim, lots of little bits... It's got an Egyptian picture on the front and the words "Seti Between Horse and Osiris" if anyone can tell me what this means, I'd be very grateful :)

On another completely different note, anyone else heard the new Limp Bizkit song Rollin'? It's on the new CD due out mid-October... I gotta admit, I quite like it, there's heaps of lines from previous songs, and looks like it's more like Significant Other then 3 Dollar Bill, which is good, 'cos IMO, Significant Other is much better then 3 Dollar Bill.

DAYS 'TIL GREENY'S BIRTHDAY

2 Days


Alcohol gladly accepted

Poisoning by Food

Food poisoning. Everyone I know has had it at some point, nobody likes it, every year it causes businesses to close down, and isn't it great when your teacher gets it?

My teacher has food poisoning. It sucks for him, he's a really cool guy, but it's great for us, we only had one class today :)

Speaking of food, the weirdest thing happened today, the food served at the hostel was good!! We had Beef Chow Mien (my favourite Chinese dish, followed closely by vegetable chow mien) and wedges... now I know wedges and chow mien don't really work... but who cares? They were both yummy!!

I've spent most of my free time today revamping some pants for my first night clubbing on Friday, they look really good, dark navy bootlegs transformed into flares with the help of some very bright streaks flowing from my knees. I've also done some homework, slept and even done my laundry... it's been a good day and I've got lots done.... one of these days I'll get around to cleaning my room....

I have a practical assessment tomorrow, a chicken salad and a poached salmon type thing. It should be pretty cruisy all going well. It's worth 40%, should be some easy marks.

Oh, and mum? I passed that chicken I had to resit :)

DAYS 'TIL GREENY'S BIRTHDAY

3 Days


Getting closer!!

we all live IN a yellow submarine

The Treasure Island thing, it's weird, I had to fill in this HUGE form (check it out here) which asked some really bullshit questions.... but they made me think that's for sure, it took me about an hour to fill in. I couldn't think of the scariest thing I'd ever done, I ended up saying moving out of home. But I can touch my toes without bending my knees (just).

I don't think I'll get in, I wouldn't look good on camera, but I guess you have to be in to win right?

I'm planning a movie day tomorrow. I'm spending half my day at the movie theater, I have some money, thanks to my tax return, and golly gosh, I'm going to treat myself, I'm planning to see The Sculls, followed by Scary Movie and finally Hollow Man. I've always wanted to do something completely stupid like that, I think I'll end up getting the story lines all mixed up though...

On another note, for students and poor people out there, there's a cool site out there that actually gives free stuff away (I wanted to try it and get some free stuff before I promoted it) it's at http://www.stuff4free.co.nz and it's damn good, I've got a packet of free corn nuts (taste like shit), free can of top secret (goes well with vodka) and I'm waiting on a free post it notes & holder as well as free sports balm. For those lucky bitches in Auckland you can get a free blank video as well.

and a new feature to my column, that will be running for the next week is "Days until greeny's birthday" this is partially to remind my mother about the big cheque and cake I want, and partially to get all you people to send me cheesy net cards so I feel loved ;P

DAYS 'TIL GREENY'S BIRTHDAY

5 Days


(I'll be 18)

We all live on a yellow submarine

I've applied for the new season of Treasure Island.

Don't ask me why, cos I'm not quite sure

But it's worth a go I guess.

and why has only DebXena Voted for me? :( 'Cmon people, you know you want me ;P

When's it gunna stop? DJ?

I feel complete, I've now seen the Robbie Williams video

I've got a new phone (anyone who's talked to me on my old one will know how good this is)

I've only had 2 cigarettes today

I witnessed a robbery of an alcohol store

AND my grandmother finally knows about my piercing (took her exactly 37 seconds to notice it)

And I found this.....

Dr. Seuss Purity Test

Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?

Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?

Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?

Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?

Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?

Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?

Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?

Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than three?

Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?

Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?

Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?

Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?

Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?

Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?

Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?

Have you done it with all your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?

Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?

Have you done it under clamps?
Have you done it with the lamps?

Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?

Have you done it on Mother's couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?

Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?

Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?

Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?

Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your "no's,"
pray this number never grows;
Fifty questions we asked thee,
score times two is your Purity.

Well, I thought it was funnee.....

Weddings

hmmmmm

got a marriage proposal in my last comment-column type thing

I'm drunk and find it quite flattering.....


mmmmmm alcamohols