Just 'cos you're old you think you're wise

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OK, I'm terrible at updating, I'm sorry.

No, actually, I'm not. My personal journal (a strange thing these days - it's written on actual paper with a real pen) has a large number of entries. In my absence from online blogging I've started reassessing myself, and I'm discovering more and more every day that I am fucked up.

I have body issues and I'm not confident. My total belief that I failed everything this semester led me to come home and mainline vodka (as well as anything else I could get my hands on) half way through the exam period. As it turns out I've passed at least 3 of the 4 subjects and all that worry (not to mention the substantial hangover) were for nothing.

I've stopped smoking. Today is Day 16. Day 17 commences in 19 minutes. The big urges are gone, but occasionally I really want one. I can be around smokers but I find myself lecturing them which is entirely a product of trying to convince myself that I don't want and/or need one. The not smoking thing means that I'm a little more anti-social then usual as I tend to hide in my room watching DVDs, TV or reading.

I'm becoming more and more convinced that I like being single.

Yeah, the lack of sex is a bit horrible, but honestly, I've got enough sex toys to deal with that.

I like the independance of being single. I'm a little nutty and well equipt for keeping myself company so the whole companionship thing isn't a big deal - I have friends and I have family and I have myself. I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that unless someone really special comes along; someone who respects me and my boundaries (and my independance - I love that more then any man or woman I'm afraid) that I'm just going to remain single for the rest of my life, and I'm OK with that. I'm not sure my mother will be (I think she's looking forward to the grandkids that probably won't be arriving through me) but I am.

I've been listening alot to Lily Allen. She rocks. She has some very cheeky lyrics but I've been feeling quite feminist and anti-boys lately so she's pretty much the perfect accompaniment. I'm looking foward to the Big Day Out - I will definately be grooving out to her that day.

Well I'm going to go, no doubt I'll be up for a few hours yet with my crappy November-December insomnia but unfortunately the computer room will be closing soon

Rainbows and Lollipops

Stupid Forwards

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I got an email today - a foward. It was from someone I don't like very much, don't talk to and don't consider a friend, yet she thought it was appropriate to send me what might be accurately described as the worlds worst foward.

First of all - I've seen the same email come from the UK - the only difference between the two (this includes the statistics at the bottom of it) is that all references to the 'UK' has been replaced with references to 'NZ'. While I can't pass comment on the UK version, having never been there I thought I'd add my comments to this version. Partly to be trite, partly because I'm bored with an hour and a half to my next lecture and having just finished my essay.

Being a Kiwi is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
How many people here have a german car? Hands up please. Any Audis, BMWs, Porches or Volkswagons in the house? No? That would be because Kiwi's by far prefer their Mitzis, Hondas, Subarus, Holdens, Fords, and Mazdas. I'm not saying German cars don't exist in New Zealand - I live in Auckland I'd be stupid to say that but in general, German cars are not the ones we buy.

We do however have a fondness for Irish pubs.

On Belgian beers... this is a list of some Belgian beers, go - take a look - I'll wait here. Tell me how many you know. Personally I know one of those beers. I also happen to be quite fond of it (Stella Artois). As far as I'm aware Kiwi's are much more likely to reach for a Steinlarger, Tui, Lion (Red, Brown, Double Brown), Waikato, Speights, Macs (one of the many different versions) or Monteiths. We're a patriotic bunch. We might dip into the Aussie stores (Fosters, XXXX, VB) but as the song says "you can get Fosters on tap, but it still tastes like crap"...

The kebab holds up, I've had numerous kebabs while pissed - that said I've had many more hamburgers and/or chips while pissed. The White Ladies in Queen St (Shortland St if you want to be pedantic and it's moving soon anyway) and Newmarket I am finding are the stuff of legends. Quick, polite service and the hamburgers are the best I've ever tasted (please note I was rather pissed at the time). Wellington has an all night 6-night-a-week (not open Monday night) fish and chip store that serves a bad-ass hawaiian burger at 3 in the morning and is right next to a strip club making for interesting people watching. Curries... hands up all who have had a curry after getting pissed? I honestly couldn't think of a worse idea really.

Personally I have no idea where my furniture was made and I'll concede that it may have been made in Sweden but more likely it was made in either New Zealand or China. Most New Zelanders have at least one piece of Made-in-China, assembled-in-the-living-room, Warehouse bought furniture. I have several. They are most definately not made in Sweden.

I conceed American TV shows - but very few English-speaking countries have a complete absence of American programming, and many non-English-speaking countries also show it, so it's a bit of a non point - it's not "only in New Zealand".

I could be wrong here - but who has a TV not made in Japan? I know I don't. Again, I'd say it's one of Japan's major products - it's another non-point, you can get a Japanese TV to watch American programming almost anywhere.

Only in N.Z. ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Not always true. Ambulances can get there quick if it's an emergency and pizza places can be very slow if the rugby's on. Now if we were talking about the police instead, then there might be a point.

Only in N.Z. ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their cough, cold, aspirin while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Every supermarket I've been in makes you walk half way across the aisles, then half way up that aisle. I'm splitting hairs I know, but it's not "all the way to the back" that's (generally) where the Deli and Bakery go. Show me a country that doesn't make people buy ciggy's at the front. Again, it's a non-point.

Only in N.Z. ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Can't argue with the fact it happens, but it also happens in the US, the UK, Australia and anywhere else with a bloody McDonalds.

Only in N.Z. ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
They do indeed chain pens to the counters but the doors are not open. I'm with the National Bank and they have to press a little button to open the doors every time someone wants to get in. I'd have to conceed in the case of KiwiBank though. Damn post offices...

Only in N.Z. ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and & lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Not in Auckland we don't! Leave your expensive car in the drive and watch it speed away... Bye-bye car... Anyone with a garage full of 'junk' generally has a not-so-expensive car sitting in the drive.

Only in N.Z. ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
I only know one person with a machine capable of screening. Last time I checked most people used Telecom's message service, on which you can't really screen in the conventional sense. But that said... any country in the world with these capabilities does the exact same thing. Another non-point.

Only in N.Z. ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skateboard park.
Anyone ever seen that? All I've ever seen infront of skate parks is a gravel area perfect for doughys. Things may have changed since I was a teenager and hanging out at skate parks though. Besides, there is nothing to stop a deaf person skating. Who says a wheelchair can't go up and down some of the ramps at a skatepark?

NOT TO MENTION...
3 Kiwis are injured each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
58 Kiwis are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Kiwis are injured each year by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
8 Kiwis had burns trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Kiwis were admitted to emergency in the last two Years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.....

In 2005 eight Kiwis cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the toilet
I had a look around and while the UK publishes Hospital Episode Statistics they'll tell you only what happened, not how. (fell out of tree etc) New Zealand tends to publish Mortality Statistics. I highly doubt the accuracy of these results but as I can't be bothered to fully research I'll let you make your own minds up

Interesting Link: Only in America (sound familiar?)

IF YOU'RE PROUD TO BE A KIWI SEND THIS ON - YEAH RIGHT

Referencing

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Ah, university life - the pub on campus, the endless wait for a computer, almost being run over on Symonds Street... it's all fun and games until it comes to the real stuff - the essays and the study.

So, in starting my first two essays I firstly headed to Wikipedia to gain inspiration. I best clarify - in no shape or form can we reference Wikipedia in an essay - I just use it as a basis for ideas. So I find this fantastic quote on Wiki, which of course I can't use unless I can find the original source (this in turn of course is not referenced on Wiki - that'd make life easy!) Cue the last week and a half where I have been searching the University Library in every spare moment for this quote.

Today I found it. The whole damn article, hidden away in the 2nd floor. That's quite a feeling of accomplishment. I can officially use the quote because I have it's source!! Haha!

As part of an assignment (on malls and consumption) I get to visit malls around Auckland... Shopping in the name of eduction...

I love my life :-)

Things I have Learnt About Auckland

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1. People walk slow and in all sorts of directions - I'm rather used to the high paced everyone-walking-on-the-left style of Lambton Quay, walking (sorry - meandering) down Queen Street on whatever side you please does not make me happy - it just makes me kick the back of your ankles and want to scream.
2. Getting up an hour early means you'll get there half an hour early - there's some crazy thing going on in the time-space continum here!

I've only got two right now. I came in early to do some work (see point #2) and have just realised my pencil case is sitting ontop of my laptop, which is on my desk, at home. Fat load of good it's going to do me there!! Cue one trip to the bookstore for pens and highlighters, crap.

Day off on Friday - YAY!

My country for some sleep

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The biggest thing that is happening in my life right now is that nothing is happening in my life right now.

I'm currently enjoying my 20th day without a day off. Below is an easy to understand (hopefully) table of what my days look like... (you do not want to know how many attempts this took!)

Time	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thur	Fri	Sat	Sun
00:01-02:00	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	WORK	WORK
02:01-04:00	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP
04:01-06:00	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP
06:01-08:00	SLEEP	SHOWER	SHOWER	SHOWER	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP
08:01-10:00	SHOWER	UNI	UNI	UNI	SHOWER	SLEEP	SLEEP
10:01-12:00	UNI	UNI	UNI	UNI	UNI	SHOWER	SHOWER
12:01-14:00	UNI	UNI	UNI	UNI	UNI	STUDY	STUDY
14:01-16:00	UNI	UNI	UNI	UNI	UNI	STUDY	STUDY
16:01-18:00	UNI	STUDY	UNI	WORK	WORK	WORK	WORK
18:01-20:00	STUDY	STUDY	TV	WORK	WORK	WORK	WORK
20:01-22:00	STUDY	STUDY	TV	WORK	WORK	WORK	WORK
22:01-00:00	SLEEP	SLEEP	SLEEP	WORK	WORK	WORK	WORK

Note: Travel and eating are not considered part of my timetable - I do them when I have to or when I have the time.

What you are effectively looking at is alot of work. Too much work. I would like to hurt my manager who's terrible time-management skills meant she could not send one email which would have avoided this situation. One email would have asked other projectionists within the company to come do shifts. I warned her two months ago this would happen, and I'm not the only one who's suffering! One of our projectionists is pulling doubles because I flat out refused to do Tuesday nights and 2 projectionists are pulling 6 day weeks (including doubles) between projection, school and management duties.

I signed up for two shifts a week. If you count up all the hours I am at uni, studying or at work it is 94 hours - that's 2 full time jobs and a part time job, that's the equivelent of THREE jobs!!

Those TV hours - Quite plainly they are the only time I get to myself, for myself each week (not counting showers). 4 hours to myself each week!! I am going mental - and thus far I've been keeping this up for 2 weeks. 8 days left...

8 days left...

Hanging out

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Well, uni's back.

It's a good thing. It means I'm not constantly at work, and if I am at work I have something productive to do. You see I'm taking two English papers this semester - Literature and Drama. This means one thing I didn't think of when I enrolled - it means alot of reading. It means reading Dr Suess, comics, Austen, Tenessee Williams, Lolita, Gulliver's Travels, Shakespeare, Tolstoy... the thing I'm most greatful for is that the Tolstoy isn't War and Peace!! (Which I am ambling through anyway - when I get the time). As a result if I'm eating - I'm also reading. Travelling on the bus? I'm reading. Waiting for a lecture? Reading. In the pub... reading. At home, reading. You get the idea. I'm lucky that I have a job that allows me time to read!!

Ontop of the literature I'm doing two Geography papers - Physical and Human. The really strange thing is I thought I would be more interested in the physical geography but it seems I'm not, I'm enjoying the human geography alot more. It's possibly got something to do with the lecturers (the guy for physical geography is one who took some of our lectures last semester - which I generally tried to avoid at all costs) but it does amaze me that I am happily getting up at 6.30-7 to come in to the human geography lectures because I enjoy them (can't wait for the lecture on sexuality!)

So yeah, I'm also a very busy person (apart from all the reading). I'm working 4 nights a week, the downside of this being that it completely screws up my sleep pattern. That said I've only got two more weeks of it then back down to two shifts a week, during the day on the weekends. As it is I don't have a day off (where I don't have uni or work) until the 4th of August, and I plan to keep it completely free - I just want a day to lax out and do nothing.

In other things... who else thinks Winston Peters is a complete Dickwad? I mean, I'm hardly the biggest fan of the US at the best of times, but the fact is politically speaking it is good to have them on our side - free trade is a huge deal. So we've got a future presidential candidate saying that NZ-US free trade deals are a good idea and what does Winny do? He interrupts and shuts down the interview because the press were asking too many questions!! I said something about it when the moron was put into this position and I'll say it again - dumbest decision ever. (for those who don't know what on earth I'm on about have a look here.)

Anyway, much as I prefer to avoid it in first week back, I'm heading to the quad for lunch - ciao!

General Update

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Oh dear, I'm discovering something awful... I am a girly-girl.

Might sound odd my saying that, but I've never really been a 'girly girl'; never really cared about makeup - except when I was going out, didn't own skirts, didn't care about heels or earrings or clothes...

Last few years it's been slowly building up to the point where I woke up the other day in my new Oscar the Grouch pajamas, had a shower, put on a body moisturiser (one with tanning stuff in it), facial moisturiser, eye cream, concealer, foundation, mascara, got dressed into matching underware, a skirt, stockings and a frilly top then spent 15 minutes deciding what earrings to wear.

I am, in fact, a girly-girl - that's three different types of moisturiser I put on!

Granted I'm a girly-girl who swears and drinks beer, but nonetheless, I am a girly-girl.

The other day I was at work and I realised... if I undo my belt, my pants fall down. This was a little strange given that when I moved to Auckland I was Size 20. The jeans I was wearing at work were size 18.

This could only mean one conclusion...

So I decided to test my theory. I went to Farmers with my shopping buddy and loaded my arms with size 16 pants. In my imagination I could see this leading to the same place it always leads - me winding myself trying to do up the buttons and ending up in a crying mess on the floor.

With trepidation I went into the changing room, closed the door and put on the pants to find... they bloody well fit! Perfectly! Nice and snug in the right places... I could sit, I could squat, I could walk and run - most surprisingly I could breathe! After checking the clothes weren't somehow mis-labelled I bought two new pairs of size 16 pants.

I haven't been a size 16 since I was about 13/14. While all the girls at school were buying fashion from Glassons, I was trawling Farmers, K-Mart, DEKA and The Warehouse for good-looking, fitting clothes.

Let's just say that I was a little fashion-clumsy back in high school.

But yesterday, after the amazing revelation I asked my friend if she'd mind going to Glassons. Normally I hate that bloody store (mostly cos nothing ever fit and it bought back horrible memories of high school), but yesterday it was my goal. I had to try something - anything - on. I wasn't going to buy it (and having seen the clothes in there I was bloody sure of that), but I did want to put it on.

So we went in, I found a fun skirt with netting on the inside to make it puff out. I went into the changing rooms, and the horrible changing room vision re-surfaced. If it didn't fit I was going to cry. But no, the skirt went on effortlessly and as I looked at myself - in a Glassons changing room - wearing this hideous skirt, I felt elated, overjoyed and amazed. Somehow, I am losing weight, and it's fantastic!!

When we got home we compared the long-retired (now passed on) size 20's to a brand new pair of 16's and it's a good 4 inches less.

Horah!

I want your money!

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Wow, so the whole dentist thing has kicked me up the ass in so many ways.

First off, the whole money thing. It's costing me a packet-load to do the dentist thing, but at the same time by doing it, I've combined my debts into "one easy to manage loan". This means Victoria, my Visa has died a death dredded by all visa cards, but that said - she only bought me stress. So my debt repayments have decreased now, therefore there is more money in my pocket, and do you know what I'm doing with it? Well, granted, I've bought about a gazillion pairs of underware in the last couple of weeks (I have a thing for undies at the moment) but I've also started doing something I don't do - saving. Yup, me - saving. It may seem like a very small thing to most people but to me, this is huge!

On top of the saving I've given up The-Dread-Evil-Coke. Again, this is a miracle. I love Coke, and there's none of that wussy Coke-Zero or Diet-Coke for me, I love the high-sugar, really-bad-for-you Coke. The stuff that'll disolve a T-Bone steak, that's the shit - I've given it up. In the four weeks since my first appointment I have had one 600ml bottle. That was last week and I promptly brushed my teeth. One bottle in a month is amazing!! The withdrawls are all-but-gone (had trouble sleeping, not to mention waking up!! A few mood swings as well) and by not drinking Coke? Saving around $18 a week, which goes, you guessed it - into the savings account.

In giving up the coke, I've taken to drinking water. Not only have I given up Coke, I am now drinking at least a litre of water a day - that's more water now then I used to have of Coke! I've got 3 water bottles on constant rotation in my fridge, and I hate going anywhere without one...

Having taken up the water I've also started to realise how much junk I consume. So I'm making an effort to curb that. I live in a hostel and I hate the kitchen so I've been having sushi instead of Maccas. I've been having whole-grain bread instead of white, hell I'm even having breakfast with healthy yoghurt! (The Acodopholus or however you spell it stuff).

This one thing, the routine of my weekly dentist appointments - of knowing that a day or so after that appointment I will feel that weebit better about myself because one or two of my teeth are back to normal, it's making me a better, healthier, more independant person, one tooth at a time.

Sure it's costing me a bomb, but it's much more then my teeth - it's my whole life. If I keep going the way I am I'll be well on track to getting out of this hostel by August. I'll also have to buy myself a new wardrobe because at some point my body is going to realise I'm not feeding it so much junk and I'm not giving it a ton of sugar each day and I'm going to lose weight. Not so much that I'm a skinny stick, but enough that when I go clothes shopping I can find some that fit and look good. I'll be able to shimmy around my room to Lady Marmalade in my sexy underware knowing I am sexy dammit.

And that feeling? You can't put a price on that, but if you did, and that price was $2763? Worth every penny.

Rain, rain go away

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Yep, so Auckland had no power - I'm sure there's been rather a few entries on the topic, here's my comments about it 'cos I had a pretty funny day.

First off, to be the only one in a computer lab when all the lights, computers and printers turn off is bloody freaky. Then to be hit by a branch on your way to your first uni exam is just plain retarded and to find out that your Geography105 (Natural Hazards in New Zealand) exam has been postponed due to a natural hazard? Ironic.

So given that there was no exam to be happening I decided to do what I love to do when all shit hits the fan... I went for a walk. I trudged through the rain from uni to Newmarket via the hospital - no lights, traffic blocked everywhere, half a dozen fire engines, a few ambulances, lots of police - and me, walking around with a huge smile on my face. I got to Newmarket and ducked into work (which was of course shut - no power = no movies). I dried off a bit, pointed out that my boss should try do something about the masses of icecream that was likely to melt, watched staff get paid to play snap by torchlight and then took back off up Broadway. I grabbed some candles and batteries from an open shop (thank God I'd not spent all my cash!) and walked up looking at people inside banks and shops watching the people go by and generally looking bored but happy they were getting paid to sit inside.

I honestly couldn't wipe the grin from my face. I love disasters. Volcanic Eruption, Earthquake, Tsunami, Massive Power Failure - it gives me a buzz. I actually think I've found a calling here and as soon as my exams are over (4 days later then they were supposed to be thanks to the power failure) I'm going to start making enquiries into becoming a Civil Defence volunteer. (Which I'd actually been thinking about on Sunday afternoon!)

So I got home, listened to news broadcasts on the battery-operated radio and had conversations and complained how now I couldn't do it - all I wanted to do was watch TV. Eventually hunger got to us so we meandered up to Mt Eden to get some baked goods (again - yay for cash!) and found a lone street lamp.

It was a single street lamp in the middle of Mt Eden, beaming for anyone to see. Just one freaking streetlamp.

Then the power came on at 4.31 - which is bloody amazing seeing as the news report at 2 had said it'd be back on by 4.30 - and we proceeded to suck as much power as we could - TV, stereo, lights, heaters, vacuum, charging cell phones...

Ah humans are funny.

Still, I'm half-annoyed it didn't go into the night - we could have played an awesome game of spotlight around the hostel!

Anyway I shall leave you with a random piccy of some Knights in Alcoholic Armour. That's Sir VB (aka A) on the Left and Sir DB (aka my future flatmate, Matt) on the right.











Off to study now...

First, the worst

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I've just had my first dentist appointment. (For those not in on the loop I've just started a round of dentist appointments which are going to cost $2763 - it's alot of work)

We started with the two icky black teeth I used to have. They were my main motivation for going to the dentist, black teeth do not a healthy self-esteem make.

Best $400 I ever spent

Yes, I can't eat right now cos my front lip is numb and I look like a munter when I smile, yes I can't drink or smoke... but I know how pretty my teeth look now, and I will be able to smile big and bright and proud.

I like my dentist :)

Bored at Uni

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As per the title of this post - I'm bored, and I'm at uni.

I should be studying, or doing my english assignment but the fact is I've got an appointment with the bank to get a really big loan in half an hour, so there's not much point in starting. I'll get an hour or so in after the appointment, before my lame-ass geography role-play assessment.

I'll get to spend my evening tonight doing what the next couple of weeks are going to be dedicated to; study. I've got to build myself a regular sleeping pattern, eat well, drink lots of water and study. Lots of study. It's starting tonight. My first exam is for geo, which is good because while I study for the exam I am simultaniously studying for the test I have on Thursday that I am completely unprepared for.

Moral of the story? If you want to see me over the next 3 weeks - too bad, I ain't avaliable.

One week of lectures left. My stats lectures (which I never went to anyway) are over. Had my last english one today. Now I get to concentrate on finishing the big-ass english assignment I've got due on Friday (not that bad, most of it's done... just typing, editing, printing and binding to worry about there. Should be able to get it out of the way in a couple of hours). Then media, which I'll have to go to this week as the lectures tell us handy things about the all-important exams. Media is also the only course that still has it's tutorials running. Bastards. I have to go to that, again important exam stuff plus I'll get 5% of my final grade just by turning up to the tutorial - be silly not to really. And geo... stupid course started out really good and now is about as interesting as watching paint dry. That's right - they've actually made a course about Natural Hazards (volcanoes, tsunami etc) boring. Mostly because they've moved away from the volcanoes and tsunamis onto drought, and how natural hazards impact people. The crazy thing is everything covered in the 6 lectures about people could be condensed into half that.

I watched the end of Season 2 of Lost. It's good. Fucked up, but good. They gave us alot more answers then questions, which makes a very nice change!!

Anyway I'm going to scoot, I've got to get over to the other side of uni for my appointment with the bank. Oh joy.

You Want To Know What You've Done?

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Here's what you've fucking done you psycho cow.

1. You slowly sucked my self confidence by being a horrible fucking person to me every chance you got.
   
2. Nothing was ever good enough for you - if I cleaned you never fucking noticed - you'd only bitch and moan if I didn't clean.
   
3. It never mattered how many cookies I baked you and your boyfriend (who I actually do like - and he's much better then you deserve) would eat the whole fucking lot of them.
4. I got to waste 3 fucking years of my life 3 fucking years, getting over the emotional scarring you left. I got to pick up the pieces of my shattered self esteem because you could never admit you might be wrong!
5. I had to give way on every fucking argument because if I didn't back down we'd probably STILL be there arguing about how often the fucking toilet gets cleaned.
6. You alienated me from my friends, who wouldn't come around if you were there. You wonder why you never see them? BECAUSE THEY DON'T FUCKING LIKE YOU. You very nearly cost me one of the best friendships I have and you know what? I despise you for that!
   
7. You know what? I DON'T enjoy doing other people's hair and makeup. That's right. What I do enjoy is making people feel good about themselves. I'd die for my friends because that's who I am, and I am so very sorry I ever counted such a selfish, imature, horrible excuse for a human being among them.
8. When milo is drunk by the bucketload.... IT COSTS MORE THEN PETROL you freak! But you know what? I always backed down and you know why - because you slowly sucked my inner power, inner life and self confidence.
   
9. You're a fucking bucket of negativity and you know what? I DON'T forgive you for it, I WON'T forget it and I most certainly WILL NOT take your negativity and manipulation anymore.

Fuck you, You Whore.

In the name of procrastination...

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Well I was re-reading my old posts (as you do when you're supposed to be doing an assignment due tomorrow) and realised I haven't posted The Update. Most people on my f-list have got this via email but I figure it's worthwhile posting and hell, if nothing else - it's better then stats.

Right guys, seeing as you all sent me some fantastic advice here is the update on the fallout.

First of all, I stopped talking to M. I needed time to think and sort myself out so I gave myself this space. I found other friends who took me out and got me very drunk (11 hours of beer...) A was out with us, so being drunk I decided to throw caution to the wind and I handed him a print out of the email. He came back downstairs and said he needed to think and he'd get back to me...

3 days of hell followed. Boys - when you say you need time please make that time QUICK or give us an estimate! Us girls (or at least I do) go nuts waiting for you to tell it to us straight! So I spent the next 3 days unable to sit still or concentrate on anything before he came back and gave me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech. To be honest I wasn't surprised. It seems he's got the kind of issues it took me 3 1/2 years to get over. So - dissapointed, but not surprised - and we remain friends (really). I attacked the dissapointment with chocolate and soppy movies (A Walk to Remember and The Notebook) two of my friends came and kept me company and fed me alcohol, so the next day (Sunday) I was in a position when I could attack the final part of the puzzle - M.

I had texted her on Saturday saying I wanted to chat to her and got a reply saying "if you are going to appologise then I can be avaliable". In my head that is the same kind of manipulation I had had enough of when I finally got away from The Evil Flatmate, so I told her straight - "I wasn't planning on appologising, just to explain myself. I also wanted to return your things and get mine back." at which point I got "Well then let's do it now."

To explain myself - this is exactly the kind of crap I got from The Evil Flatmate. It was this attitude that subtly chipped away at my self esteem and independance for well over a year until I got to breaking point. I refused to let her win on this and if she had seen me on Saturday - a little drunk, not too happy about not getting the boy and generally taking some 'me' time to get my thoughts straight then I would have backed down. I couldn't back down. Your emails and phone calls had both given me confidence (I've often said this week I felt like I'd got the invincibility star from Super Mario Brothers and could just shoot down anything in my way because I knew no matter what - I have friends who loved and cared for me) and determination to see this through - how could I send you all an email saying 'we're friends again' - I couldn't do it to YOU GUYS - Half of you'd kill me (or at least Charis would!). You'd boosted me and given me accountability and I think that writing and sending that email was the best thing I could have done.

So I told her I wasn't avaliable - I was sorting out my own shit and I would see her on Sunday.

Sunday came - I hadn't heard from M so I went out shopping with another friend, got ice cream, watched her buy the most beautiful shoes I have ever seen ($150 dowm from $380 - designer, BEAUTIFUL shoes), bought earrings and enjoyed my day. I got home and I reenforced myself. I told myself I was doing the right thing, I thought of you guys.

Then she tried to toy with me. One minute she was ready - then she was busy. She was playing these crazy mind games about when and where we were going to meet... if anything else that just reminded me MORE of The Evil Flatmate and the Hell-of-Three-Years-Ago and it just made me more determined to get it done properly.

So we had the talk. I told her she wasn't good for my mental health, about my breakdown in the projection room, about her stalking, about her manipulation with me and A, about how blunt and insensitive she was in getting what she wanted, about how I didn't need to be mothered, how I wanted my independance back and how I was, afterall, 10 years younger then her and we were inevitably going to think in different ways due to time and maturity. And then she did something that surprised me...

She asked me for my advice on what she could do to change. She told me that she knew she wasn't entirely normal and she didn't want to make the same mistakes again. I advised councelling and doctors and I told her about Lifeworks. I told her that although I didn't want to be her friend, it didn't devalue her as a person. I told her that it shouldn't affect other people in the hostel and that as far as I was concerned this was between her and I and there would be civility rather then hostility between us. We cleared up what was acceptable and unacceptable behaviour. I told her she was welcome to sit at a table we were at or join us as a group and in that situation I would acknowledge her, but she was no longer welcome to know my personal affairs such as exam/assignment results or what I was doing and with who.

So with that sorted I left her and I did some serious thinking about other issues that have come up in my life. Firstly there is the issue with living in this hostel. The fact is many people from the fringes of society collect here. Don't get me wrong - there are good eggs in the basket - but there are also other people who are the kind I have no wish to surround myself with. Do I want to be friends with someone who was actually said "if he joins our group of friends [speaking about a rather camp, gay man - on the basis that he is camp], then I will leave!" Do I want to be around people who cannot take responsibility for their actions and believe everything bad that happens to them is other people's fault? The answer, simply, is no. I want to surround myself with open, accepting, loving people like those who I have surrounded myself with previously. So I have made the decision to leave the hostel. This won't happen until August (I've got to do the two full-time weeks at work during the holidays and get my tax return from the IRD to afford it) but it's in the works - and it makes me feel better just knowing it's GOING to happen. I'll be leaving with a couple I have met here who are kind, trustworthy and know exactly who I am and accept me for that. This is the couple who have heard my dramas and my reasons for leaving. It is the same couple who came and gave me alcohol on the night A let me down. These are the good eggs and are the kind of people I want to have in my life.

This then got me thinking about some other things. Firstly, what am I doing with my life? Am I happy with who I am? What do I want to do? The fact is I'm dedicated to uni until I'm 27. At 27 I want to be settling down, I want to have found a significant other and I want to be thinking about the future, whatever that may be. I want to travel and I want to be happy with my appearance and myself. So today I took steps to being happy with myself. I've made a dentist appointment and I'm taking steps to consolidating my debts, making saving for travel while still at uni a reality. When I leave uni I want the only debt to my name to be my student loan (and even then I'd prefer not to have that). I can live without a credit card, but my teeth are the one thing I am very self consious about. I hate them and it's time to do something about it. It's time to stop giving the blame to The Evil Flatmate and to The Slut. It's time to take responsibility for who I am, how much money I have in the bank and what I do with my life. So the next step in my life is to make myself happy with me. This involves my outward appearance, my health (although don't take that as a 'Kat's going to lose weight' - I hate dieting. It may however mean I give up smoking) and how I feel about myself because afterall - my main reason for leaving Rocklands is because I don't like what it makes ME. It's turning me into a bitch and I hate that.

So now I have dealt with the big-issue-at-the-moment, and filled you all in. Please don't lose touch 'cos I don't talk to half of you as much as I would like, (partly my fault I'm pretty terrible at replying to emails) and if ANY of you have issues and need advice - I owe ya one :P

In other news I'm getting flirty text messages and emails from A. It's kinda fun but at the same time bloody annoying. I'm not even trying to get over him now - I'll just fall into a million pieces when he leaves (July 4th - sob). I'll just have to stock up on the wine and chocolate before then I suppose!

The plans for moving out are officially underway as well. I've had a chat to the couple I mentioned in the update and they are serious about moving out. This makes me extremely happy. We're thinking that somewhere between Newmarket and Three Kings (although closer the Newmarket area is ideal) would be the best spot. My dentist apointment is on Thursday (and not a moment too soon - ANOTHER one of my teeth is beginning to play up - if I have a tooth that doesn't need work I'll be surprised). So yes, life is moving slowly in a direction I am happy about (hell, even when A leaves there's always Email and I do plan to keep that boy as a friend if nothing else!)

My laptop is back - minus EVERYTHING. Colitis was right when he said the harddrive was fucked and so now I have a new one and I get to spend the next month re-installing my programmes, re-setting my settings and re-downloading my mp3s.

Being at debxena and fuzzy_ben's is doing me the world of good. It's great to get home, have a beer and chill out. I've had a few mates around (the ones I plan to move out with - being here has only strengthened our resolve to leave). I've not yet used the bath (saving that as a reward for doing my stats...) but I have baked cookies, watched Invader Zim and Animaniacs and had lots of home cooking (yay!). Once I finish stats I'll have alot more time to attack all the fun stuff in this house (and maybe do a little cleaning so they can come home to a sparkling house).

Anyway, that's me, only two questions to go on my stats and then I can have a long, relaxing bath :)

Quick Update (again)

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Nothing on the A front - don't ask. Boys, Rocks... you know the drill.

That said I'm pretty damn sure I want to be moving out of here soonish. I just did my tax return and it seems the IRD owe me $250 (YAY) plus theres the interest free overdraft I can get at the bank, and the $300 bond currently tied up in this place.

It's possible.

Thinking about it I'd need a fair lump of cash for bond and rent in advance. Ontop of that I'd need a bed and a desk.

But mostly I'm sorted... it's a serious thought. I've floated it with the only two peple I could really consider living with here (a couple). I'll see where it goes but fankly I'm sick of the politics and the bitchyness and the only thing really keeping me here is A, and he's leaving in July anyway.

So yeah, it's on the cards.

hehhehhehheh

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(Some content, deemed drivvel about a stripper song meme thing has been removed)

in other news... I showed the email to A the other day (those who don't understand, I'm sorry but you're unlikely to find out). We'd spent a good 11 hours drinking Tui in the fantastic establishment that is Shadows and after 11 hours of Dutch courage I gave him a print out of it before we went our seperate ways (You see, I'm a big chicken). He came down around 45 minutes later and said that something would happen (I'm not sure if that's the him-me thing or the get-the-crazy-lady thing) and he 'needed time to think' so now I'm here, in limbo, feeling rather sick to tell you the truth, doing the only thing I can do - wait. It's driving me bananas.

(I will update with shareable info if any comes to light)

That said I have wonderful friends and knowing you guys have my back is the most wonderful feeling in the world *group hug* thanks to all of you!!

Hrm, well I'm at uni on my massive five hour break. Going to go study - tata

Update

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First of all thank you to everyone who has offerred advice. It seems the general concensus is that I'm not immagining this and this woman is a nutter.

I've had a bit of a chat to A about it all - seems he's seeing it as well and is on my side, which is always helpful in these things :)

Some of my favourite quotes/advice are below;


Can you talk to the hostel management? - colitis.

GROW SOME BALLS!

Don't talk about yourself the way you have done in the email you just sent me, if you carry on doing that you will become your own worst enemy! For one anyone who can't except you as you are has a problem and it's not yours so let them deal with it! If you are saying things like you have done in your email about yourself and you're not happy then do something about it! If people pick up on the fact that you're not happy about yourself they will play on it and use it against you!

My advice, make the most of your life, don't get hung up with people that aren't going to do you any good, are these people going to help you in life? do you need them? Cut out the baggage!

- Chari

it sound like you have a crazy woman on your tail. personally i think if she is firting with i guy who is 11yrs younger than her she needs help!!! i think you need to be up front with her and tell her to back off from you and that you will contact her when you want to talk to her, if i was up in auckland i would come and kick her arse!!! - RainbowBright

I will definately be keeping you all updated however. :)

Help!

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Well my friends, you are receiving this journal entry (published at http://filmgeeknz.livejournal.com - only visible to those on my friends list, if you wish to be added, email me) as I need advice. To start you all off I'm going to give you a quick introduction to the people I will be mainly talking about in the following text. The first person you need to be aware of will be known as M. As much as I would like to call her ScaryStalkerPersonWhoWon'tLeaveMeTheFuckAlone it's really too long and even SSPWWLMA is a little stupid, so M it is. The second person you are going to need to know about will be referred to as A. Not because his name starts with A, but because he is Australian. I would like to call him ReallyHotManICan'tBeAroundEnough, but again, it's a bit long and RHMICBAE is also pretty retarded.

So having introduced you to the two main characters of our story (more may come about later, but mostly I will only be referring to these two people specifically), I am now going to whisk you back to three weeks ago when a group of us (including M and A) went drinking in a park. This day is also referred to as Bad Friday (yes, it was Easter).

M was aware that I have the hots (to put it mildly) for A and had offerred to go in and find out if anything could or would happen. Kat, being drunk and stupid lets her. M and A go and talk in a corner and M came back to me later with the words (and I quote) "Never going to happen." It is worthwhile here to reiterate that I was drunk, and I really have quite a mad crush on this guy. Two bottles of wine, and a harsh brush off was not going to be putting me in a good mood. This is where things go sour.

M and A join back into the main conversation. A is leaning on a sloped wall directly infront of me. M then goes and leans on his knees. This is by default a reasonably intimate gesture, it brings you very close to the person you are leaning on. All this is going on right infront of me (please remember the drunk and stupid thing) and so I deal with this for a while before the cold, the drink and the jealousy get to me too much and I go home. My final words to the group are "No, I'm fat enough and ugly enough to walk two blocks by myself thanks".

The following is second hand information from a reliable source. Apparently M got the (not so subtle) hint and texted me asking 'are you OK?' My answer went something along the lines of 'No, you two faced cow.' This was apparently relayed to the gathered group at the park and made fun of by M. Meanwhile I went to bed, fuming that this girl had sat there and literally broken me, in using the worst possible wording for letting me down, and then flirting with the object of my affection directly in front of me. (Just writing about it makes me mad all over again!)

It took me almost 24 hours to get over the physical hangover, longer for the mental one. M had been texting and calling me all day. Knocking on my window and generally harassing me when, believe me, the last person I wanted to see was her. I did a lot of study that day stuck in my room and had a few sneaky ciggarettes upstairs where it was harder to find me. Later that night I decided to confront her over what she had done. I was fed an excuse about her 'bad back' and how she 'is just comfortable around men'. She claimed the fact that he is 11 years younger then her (he's 21, she's 32) was another reason 'nothing would ever happen'. This may be so, but I personally put my friendships ahead of everything, and I am very careful about obeying those friend-boy rules (never put a boy before a friend, never go after your friend's boyfriend, never go after or appear to go after the object of your friends affection). Her excuses literally meant shit to me and while I was capable of giving her the benefit of the doubt, I was not capable of trusting her or forgiving her. This is where the trouble really starts.

You see the funny thing about trust is that it's very easy to lose and extremely hard to gain. Many people I've met at my hostel are yet to gain my trust, infact only three people have managed to get it at all. If I trust someone, I am likely to give them a lot of leeway in things that I would not perhaps give a complete stranger, or someone I do not trust. Without any veil of trust however, every power game and annoying habit of M's has come to light.

During the conversation above, M offered to drive me to Whangarei. I had already booked a bus, but this way would have saved me the torment that only a bus can bring. (I paid her the equivelent of my ticket in petrol money). At the time I figured she was sucking up, and I still think it was partially for that reason, but I now know she's playing a power game with me, and I'll illustrate below.

The day before we were due to go, M rang me at work to tell me that A was going to come as well. This was a surprise to me and in the two weeks since Bad Friday I have not got even close to getting over him. Infact, his grace at handling the situation (reliable secondhand information had given me the account his reasoning for nothing happening was because we live together and he was apparently quite nice about it) had if anything made my feelings worse. And he was about to meet my parents.

Those who have actually met my parents know that they're cool, so I wasn't so worried about it but it did seem strange. I happened to mention my mother's habit of assuming anyone I bought home was my partner to M (stupid me) and so she decided that her and A could pretend they were together. My protests on this subject went unheralded - if my mother had asked me about it I would have told her the truth, I was going to have to see this through. I then got to watch her flirting with him (he basically just made it look like it wasn't a complete surprise to him. Actually he didn't do much of the 'couple' thing at all.) Infront of my parents. That, quite frankly was just embarrassing.

On top of her blatent disregard for the 'rules' however, there is another issue. She assumes I want to spend every waking hour with her. All day I am assaulted with text messages, phone calls (sometimes up to four in one day), and knocks on my door. My friends know that if I don't get time to myself I go barmy... I am finding it hard to get time to myself and the last time I needed it I literally had to lie on the floor in my darkened room while she knocked on the window and repeatedly called and texted.

I'm also dragged along on her errands (although this is one I'm able to put my foot down on). I feel like her handbag. I'm getting throughly annoyed and pissed off at the lack of space this crazy woman is giving me.

This woman is 32 - life experience in my 23 years has tought me this behaviour is not normal. Through conversations with other people I know of at least 3 other people who have been through what I am going through. Hints do not work. The last victim of this torment had to tell her to "get the fuck away" from her. I always assumed that at 32 I would be in the middle of my career, with a partner and travelling the world. At 32 this woman is stalking other people and making my life, frankly a nightmare.

My problem is I live with her. I enjoy my hostel, I don't want to move. Imagine high school - the cliques and the backstabbing. This is what it's like, and yet there are some very good eggs among the bad ones. My life isn't all bad, but at the moment this woman is driving me nuts.

Dear friends, people who have proved their worth over many years of friendship, I need your help. I refuse to be hounded and stalked and forced into hiding again. I refuse to let this shit get me down, but I need your advice. You cannot have recieved this email if I don't highly value your friendship and trust you with my life. This woman is becoming scary - Deb you have official permission to use your FuckRake.

HELP!

Uni

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Well, uni today is shaping up to be rather good (hurrah!) I've got two of my assignments back and I'm still not failing! (Double hurrah!)

Media Studies (also known as the stupidest, most irrelevent, difficult course ever to exist) had me worried. I'd needed to 'closely analyse' a text. Most specifically the new Mitre 10 ad (a guy loses his job, his dog, his wife, most of his possessions - he discovers Mitre10 and suddenly his life is good again). So I went to the old standby that I use for this stuff. I made it all up and spoke alot of bull. Amazingly it worked and I got a B+ - hurrah! (yes, there are a lot of 'hurrahs' in this update). Looking through the markers comments it was pretty obvious the marker hadn't been convinced by any of my ideas and I'd left alot of gaps, but I'm not complaining with the grade!

Geography (my major for people who don't already know) came back as well - 95%. Second assignment is officially better then the first (for which I got 90%). I'm very happy, and understand where I lost out on my marks. Interestingly I proved to myself last night that I am definately studying the right thing - at about midnight Epsom was hit with the downpour from hell and what is my reaction? To run outside in my PJ's, with my camera (tho it was too wet to actually use it), a plastic cup and stopwatch to do some experiments to find out how MUCH rain was coming down (average estimate of 6cm/hour according to my observation) The NZ Herald doesn't give a comparible estimate, but it sure was fun running around in the rain in my (very wet) pajamas... I just wanted to go bang on everyone's doors so they'd come out and play with me!

Anyway, really this post is me putting off studying for my Geo test in just over an hour... so I should really go do that!!

ho hum

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Well, not much to report. Just thought I should. I've been on my two week break on which I should have been working on assignments - but mostly did things like getting drunk, changing my hair colour, spending a little bit of time up north with the parentals and sleeping. I did manage to whack out an assignment over the time, but it was on Lord of the Rings so when you're talking about me, it hardly counts.

I ended up horribly smashed the first weekend of the holidays and my Good Friday was anything but. Got a firm rebuff from the guy I'd been after (ah suckage) threw my toys and then got to spend the rest of the weekend recovering from both the physical hangover caused by two bottles of very cheap Riesling and the mental hangover caused by the rebuff and the tantrum... oh dear.

The first week of the holidays saw me doing alot of work, which kinda sucked but ah well. Then up to Northland with a couple of mates from the hostel who were happy to get out for a day and be fed by my mother (gotta love my mother's cooking!) A few days there then I got to get up at Sparrow Fart to get a ride back with my father who was down for a meeting.

Anyway, that really was a dull update (but hell, at least it was an update) I'll write when I have something to say that doesn't sound completely retarded.

News from the front

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I'm bored, but in a happy, energetic way. The holidays are here and for a few days at least I'm not worrying about assignments, exams or school. I've got through my first half of my first semester at uni without fucking anything up severely and that's a good thing.

I had my first ever driving lesson today - around in circles shifting from first to second and back again. I did not stall, again this is a good thing.

I'm crushing on a guy from the hostel. Not quite so much of a good thing but we're friends so if nothing else he's nice to look at. He has no idea I'm crushing on him... I want to make 'the' move but the fact is I'm shit scared of losing a mate and then there's the whole 'don't screw the crew' thing... but he is leaving in 2 months so it may be good... ah fuckit I don't know, we're going out to drink tonight (yeah, in a park down the road - how classy are we?!?) so I'll see what happens when alcohol enters my system... probably not that much. Mostly I'm just glad to be interested in someone again. It's a very good sign the depression is gone.

People are going on holiday, which sucks. Other people have the whole Whanau at Rocklands which sucks because then the pool table (which is one sanity I have here) is swarming with kids. Damn holidays!

Anyway, I'm going to go, surely I can find something (someone?) interesting to do. Happy Easter all!

Woot!

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My laptop is successfully connected to the university wireless system!!

I'm loving my new wireless card right now, I can just sit here in the Student Geography Education Services room (or at least I assume that's what SGES stands for) and surf, research, do work... actually I'm thinking I need food right now... might have to go try out the HSB cafe.

Heh, it's like I'm a real student!

I'm still finding it insane that I'm in lectures, and taking notes and doing homework. It's all a bit full-on after being out of the education system for so long but it's nothing I can't handle, and even if for some reason I find myself bogged down there are so many services to help me it's insane (and they're all acronyms so buggered if I can keep them straight!!)

I'm also a class rep for my Geography class (I've only got one this semester - along with Statistics, Media Studies and an English paper). I figured if it's my major I should get into it.

Anyway I've got to watch tomorrows Stats lecture on CD to see if I can get away with wagging tomorrow (it's my only class and it's at 9am, if I understand what's happening then I'm wagging)

They make it so easy to pass - lectures, notes, all provided. Turn up to tutorials and score easy marks. It's ridiculously easy right now (remind me I said that before I'm going into exams will you?)

Shitty Day

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Well, my Saturday sucked.

Woke up at 10am by my phone to find out one of my collegues had passed away... could I please come in early?

Well, that's not a request you can easily deny, so up I get, shower, and head down the road to work. Obviously everyone was in a bit of shock. He wasn't young, but it wasn't expected either. Apparently it was a heart attack, with a glass of whisky in one hand and a ciggarette in the other - he'd have appreciated the fact.

So I go in and it's about now that everything that could got wrong, went wrong.

• Two movies started more then 10 minutes late
• One movie did not turn into the right scope (so everyone had cone-heads)
• One movie muted itself
• I laced up the wrong movie
• One movie didn't go into the right scope AND the lights didn't go off
• One projector shat itself and wouldn't go for about 10 minutes. When I finally got it to work the sound shat itself and we canned the session

That's really not a good run for a projectionist on a 14 hour shift. It wasn't made any easier by the sheer number of people coming up and asking 'how I was' I mean, shock was the first thing, but I wasn't overly emotional - I've only known the guy for two months. Mostly I was irritated by all the fuck ups!

So yeah, after my very long day I finally reached home and was walking up the driveway when I spotted a couple of guys I knew drinking on the lawn. They asked if I wanted a beer. After my day a beer was exactly what I wanted.

Four beers later (in quick sucession) I was feeling much better... The morning after not so much.

So yeah, shit Saturday, very shit Saturday.

Hate Mornings

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There is only one problem with being back at uni and that is the hours I am now active.

When I was working I was there for a maximum of 40 hours per week and the rest of the time was mine to do whatever I wanted.

Now I've got around 20 hours of lectures and tutorials spread out between 9am and 6pm Monday to Friday. Sometimes I have to be here the whole time, sometimes only for a few hours. On top of that there's the 20-ish hours I do at work each week. Then there's the 20 hours of study. Then there's the social life I've got whether I want it or not which is so packed I don't get to see everyone I want to see, and don't even have time to call my mother! (I tend to take the opportunity on the bus or walking home... God bless Cell Phones and 3 dollar 2 hour deals)

And then there's sleeping and eating and showering and cleaning and laundry.

I'm getting exausted and I'm only two weeks in! It's like this constant cycle and half the time I'm rushing around while my mind is saying 'I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing right now!'

Oh, and I finally put aside some time today to spend with my brother (between my 9am lecture and my 4.30pm start at work) and he's over an hour late, little bastard! If I'd have known that I'd have skipped the lecture and slept in.

Ah well, just 3 years of this shit and I'm back out in the world again.... God help me.

ASSignments

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Question 4: Briefly Comment on what the plots reveal

(b) The plots reveal that the majority of the class passed in the 60-70% margin. There are no outliers. There is a small cluster of marks in the 20% range possibly indicating stoners who don’t turn up to class.

Yeah, I'm bored and as 25% of stats is speculation that is what is currently written as the answer to that question (I don't have enough balls to actually hand it in though). Really this would have been the better answer;

The data shows that one person (on 91%) got up every morning and came into uni for their 9am lecture. They then read their $118.99 textbook from beginning to end, made notes, learnt how to use the statistical mode on their calculator and did the previous exam questions provided in the course CD Rom.

The majority of the class may have slept in on occasion and opted to watch the lectures provided on the CD Rom from the comfort of their swivelly computer chair at home. These people learnt how to use the statistical mode on their calculator and couldn't be bothered doing previous exam questions because they had a life and preferred to go get smashed at Shadows.

The lower half of the class slept in for most of the lectures and so were not aware they could watch the lectures on the provided CD Rom. They do not own a calculator. They instead smoked alot of weed and drank at Shadows. They only turned up to the exam as they were checking for their email for porn and found the reminder sent to them by their lecturer via Cecil.

Recon I could hand that in? :P

Ah Crap

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D-X has completely, utterly died, this sucks because I didn't back up my journals. So everything I have written since I've been there (around 4 years) is now gone gone gone.

And now here I am on LiveJournal.

Lately I've not been up to much, just hanging out with friends, going to the pub, going shopping, eating, watching tv, sleeping - you know, the usual.

I'm sorry, I've only had about 6 hours sleep, I'm munted so I'm just going to go find something else to do...